Women with Aspergers

Hello I am nearly 43.  I have 6 children from 2 marriages.  3 probably 4 of my children are ASD one very severely so and he's non verbal and speaks via an IPad.  Also 3/4 of my children have ADHD as well.  I got diagnosed with ADHD last year but scored very highly in ASD questionnaires.  Doc was thrown by me because I can make eye contact.  Didn't tell him that actually I was looking at the bridge of his nose which is what I've always done.

I also talk incessantly to the point that I bore people so I 'appear' social.  I kind of do realise after a bit that I have 'captured' someone and they are looking at the clock so I'm not totally devoid of social understanding and signs!

I'm just really interested to meet some late diagnosed men and women to ask you questions and hear about how you have coped your whole life.  I've just spent my whole life knowing I was different and odd despite looking regular.  I keep social interactions short so that people can't tell because I can't keep up an act for very long though I can do it and I go into "role" mode.

As I've got older I care less about being liked and so I am more 'me' than not me.  All of my friends are a bit odd as well.  Prior to even thinking I was ASD I described myself like 'Marmite' some people absolutely love it and can't get enough and others really don't like it and can't understand why anyone else does either :( 

I am far too 'honest' for most people but some do appreciate it but most do not:O

I find it very difficult to be fake or two faced and if I'm your friend then I am totally your friend otherwise I'm indifferent.

I find lying directly very difficult but can 'not offer' the truth.  I can't hide the way I feel, almost impossible.  I have a vocabulary which far exceeds my education and I kind of collect words.  I also collect song lyrics and I have a special skill or being able to just roll off an entire song that I've not heard for twenty years at the drop of a hat if something triggers the memory banks.  IQ in the top 5% but not a GCSE to my name. I've got an odd sense of humour.

Also big sensory issues.  I don't like certain smells, the feel of some fabrics, lights and I can't stand busy places with lots of people.

I often don't get why things upset people.  Terrible with give and take of conversations which is even worse on the phone and often embarrassing.  

I kind of live life like playing a game of chess and started playing chess at about age 5.

I really don't like people beating around the bush and I can't stand small talk or pointless talk.  When I text I don't do the whole, Hi, how are you, yes fine, how are you - no, no, no!  If you get a message from me I will just say what I want to ask you.  Then I might ask you how you are afterwards when i realise that I should have done that first because now you will think I'm impolite.

I do really care about people and love my children to bits.

I have suffered with anxiety a fair bit which is usually provoked by sensory issues.

Hate change, love routine and don't like routine being messed with.  Also plans don't like plans being changed suddenly.

I couldn't change any of the above even if I wanted to.

I am not diagnosed yet but does any of this sound familiar?

Have taken loads of tests and answered them honestly and I usually get high scores.  I don't have any developmental delay.

Thanks in advance.

Savannah

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