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Masking?

Ameliaaa

Hi,

I am a teenage girl and I got diagnosed with autism a couple of weeks ago. I am aware that I mask and how this has had a negative effect on my mental health but I'm not sure really what to do about this. For one I've just joined a new college so I'm scared that if I stop masking I won't make friends and for two I'm not even sure how to stop masking and what I would be like whilst not masking- it sort of feels like a reflex at this point.

If anyone has any advice I'd appreciate it a lot Heart️

Parents

  • It's tough when you're frightened of losing people. Have you told anyone yet? Perhaps you could shed a bit of masking and take it in steps. Things like saying no to stuff where you know you'll have to mask even more. It's tough when you want to impress people and have a "normal" social life. 

  • in reply to Alexa

    Thanks for getting back to me. I've told my close friends from my old school and that was completely fine it's just because I've moved to a new school where I don't really know anyone. I know I need to put myself out there so that I can make friends (which I really want to do) but I end up exhausted from masking all the time. 

  • in reply to Ameliaaa

    Yeah, it's bad being us because we don't get to do everything we want to. I have physically disabled friends with the same problem - we can all only do so much. Back at school I just had one best friend at a time. I guess that was all I could manage. When I fell out with one, I took up with another, and the three of us were eventaully in the same art group in 6th form when we were 16, and became our own group. Their boyfriends and another couple of outsiders joined us and it was nice. It just happened. You can only do what you can do. Try not to give it everything you have - save some time alone doing what you like by yourself. That way, you'll have more energy to do the social stuff.

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  • in reply to Ameliaaa

    Yeah, it's bad being us because we don't get to do everything we want to. I have physically disabled friends with the same problem - we can all only do so much. Back at school I just had one best friend at a time. I guess that was all I could manage. When I fell out with one, I took up with another, and the three of us were eventaully in the same art group in 6th form when we were 16, and became our own group. Their boyfriends and another couple of outsiders joined us and it was nice. It just happened. You can only do what you can do. Try not to give it everything you have - save some time alone doing what you like by yourself. That way, you'll have more energy to do the social stuff.

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