Seeking perspective: Nervous about my June assessment after an NHS rejection

My traits were misdiagnosed as Borderline personality disorder due to the emotional Dysregulation (this is mainly someone messing up my "plans" which can be interpreted as rigid routines). I also suffered from anorexia from age 16 after two "friends" rejected me (now I understand I must have been rude to them or something didn't align with them). 

That's when my masking came off apparently. I developed the special interest of calorie counting, exercise (8-9 hours each day) and being skeletal. Nobody could mess up with my strict routines, noted in detail by detailing each activity hour by hour. I weighed 28kg at my lowest. That was for several until I developed bulimia. Another strict routine, etc 

It's now recognised that anorexia nervosa is many times how autism presents in girls after the controlled "safe" environment of primary school.

Alongside the anorexia, bulimia I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression too.

As my family never knew my real reason for my meltdowns and "rude" behaviour, they kept reminding me my whole life how much I ruined their lives so I also developed PTSD and was diagnosed with it after the family feud after my father died and inheritance became an issue. So I was referred to CBT and in there the clinical psychologist determined I had issues maintaining relationships (I already had this documented in my reports of other diagnoses). He also noted I had a strong sense of justice and followed rules.

However, he didn't diagnosed me with anything but documented our sessions.

It's now that I know the reality and why no therapy ever worked. No antidepressants etc. I also have ADHD so that also contributes to difficulty diagnosing because some traits are similar.

Hello.

It must have been quite confusing living inside this without an overall understanding or framework to explain your experiences.

Could I ask if you still have eating issues? Does it go away or transfer to something else, or is it always in the background? Please don't feel pressured to answer. I am just curious because I know of a few other people with similar challenges.

I don't have eating issues with regards to controlling weight but I eat in odd ways. Fir example, as an anorexic I was scared to eat certain foods like pizza and sandwiches. I can eat sandwiches now but not as a sandwich... I need to take the filling out and separate the bread. I can eat the bread later or same time but it no longer looks like a sandwich. Or I only eat cold food. 

I tend to never eat with forks... I also don't like to eat in front of people but can do although it makes me feel anxious and annoyed as I need to pretend I eat like everyone else.

I like to eat in plastic containers for example. I combine fruit and salty stuff. It's never a cooked meal but bits and pieces like in one recipient I can put popcorn, chicken breast, hoummus, a cookie and an apple.

I don't have eating issues with regards to controlling weight but I eat in odd ways. Fir example, as an anorexic I was scared to eat certain foods like pizza and sandwiches. I can eat sandwiches now but not as a sandwich... I need to take the filling out and separate the bread. I can eat the bread later or same time but it no longer looks like a sandwich. Or I only eat cold food. 

I tend to never eat with forks... I also don't like to eat in front of people but can do although it makes me feel anxious and annoyed as I need to pretend I eat like everyone else.

I like to eat in plastic containers for example. I combine fruit and salty stuff. It's never a cooked meal but bits and pieces like in one recipient I can put popcorn, chicken breast, hoummus, a cookie and an apple.