Autism and ADHD late diagnosis

Thank you lovely!  It sure isnt dull... I have always felt like my life is an episode of Eastenders!! why do I have so much drama when everyone else seems to have their lives in order!!  And now I know.  But my word its been tiring!!   Likewise I hope I can make people here smile and feel better, we all deserve to feel validated. 

the push and pull is real. my work has suffered hugely this week.  thank you for that, its good to know I am not alone in feeling this way.  

I am so sorry to hear that,  I hope you are being kind to yourself, there is so much to come to terms with.  

Thank you so much.  I have just been in a bit of a daze the past few days and not really sleeping at all.  I think when I knew I had ADHD I thought right I can make adjustments for that.. and now I have Autism as well its like what do I do now??  I agree this is going to be a very slow process, I have been watching the same podcast episode for 3 days because I miss bits becasue I am too burnt out to take it in!!   

Hi and welcome, Maggiesfarm79 I am also late diagnosed AuDHD. For me, the autism was no surprise but the ADHD was, and it spun me out a bit. Being AuDHD is never dull, is it?! I encourage you to take it slow and gentle as all this new information sinks in, and there is good advice in earlier posts. I think there is no harm in researching more as part of your self-discovery but treat that as something to savour rather than rush. Whatever you feel is legitimate and let yourself feel it. This community will be right here alongside you!

I can’t really add much to other people’s posts. I just wanted to say that it’s ok to feel lost and your feelings will change in their own good time.

I took an erratic approach to research/stepping back/self care after diagnosis. 

Hello. The temptation is to try to learn everything as fast as possible as it will be a magic wand and it will make everything better.

The first thing is try to be relax and not get stressed. You have time. It will take a year or more to process it all. You can read a bit a day. Obviously it will become a special interest and you will spend 40+ hours a week on it anyway, but try not to.

Try to think about what issues you have now, and what accommodations you can do to make things a bit easier now.

Then it is just chipping away making small changes that add up. You can try things and keep what works. Pay attention to how you feel. Gradually you will come to know yourself better.

You will also revisit the past and think about lots of things. Expect to have mixed emotions, imposter syndrome, wonder if it was all a mistake, etc.

Just try to be kind to yourself for a while and put some things off for a while if you can. Unless you want distractions, but you might want some time to think. Try not to be obsessed in bed, as sleep is important and when your brain is going to integrate the new info.

Hi Maggiesfarm79

I too have been diagnosed later in life, with both ADHD and ASD, and also with Tourette Syndrome. I was pushing 50 years old when I was assessed, by a service contracted to the NHS, to assess adults whose diagnoses may not have detected as children. It is quite an emotional drain and challenge, coming to terms with, and also, learning about it all. I have a diagnosis of schizophrenia too, of many years standing now, and is still a current problem for me.

Thank you Bunny..  this is really helpful.  I’ll take some time over the weekend to have a good look into this.  I am on the list for some education from the provider by way of group sessions.  So it will be great to take a look at some other information before they are available.   

Congratulations on your diagnosis and welcome to the community!

Following a diagnosis, it can be common for us to experience a lot of emotional dysregulation, even without dual diagnoses - I've linked to an article below about this. So you're not alone, and this community can help to support you through it.

As for many others, my diagnosis turned out to be the start of a new journey of learning and adapting, rather than a conclusion with instant solutions. I'd suggest taking extra care to be patient to, and kind with, yourself - and to take your time with processing everything.

The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months, and others covering the kinds of support that you can access. You might find them helpful as a starting point:

NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis - includes perspectives from other autistics

NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis - including:

• Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
• Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
• Formal support following an autism diagnosis
• What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

Therapy or counselling are often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. If you prefer, depending on where you are in the UK, you might instead be able to self refer for talking therapy on the NHS. 

Before arranging it, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

Finally, I'll just mention a couple of books that I and others have found helpful early on in our post-diagnosis journeys:

Self-Care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask!

How to Be Autistic (free download currently available via this page)

Good morning to you! thanks so much, I think I just need to be a little kinder to myself just take a deep breath and accept that all these feelings are valid and ok.  Grelief.. I like that!! its exactly how I feel.  I will take a look at research but try and take my time. which is easier said than done!!  Thank you very much. 

Good morning from America, Maggiesfarm79! Congrats on your diagnosis!

I say plow into the research! It is not a bad idea to learn more about yourself.

I’m sorry to hear that you feel so overwhelmed. Do know that it isn’t unusual to feel mixed emotions regarding a late diagnosis. I’ve heard one person call it “Grelief,” or a mix of grief and relief. On one hand you now have access to knowledge about why you feel so overwhelmed, but on the other hand that’s information you’ve missed out on for so long. Don’t be afraid to feel sad, mad, and glad at once.

But yeah, I recommend doing as much research as you can to learn more about Autism!