Scared of going for a diagnosis

I came to it from burnout and leaving my job. I needed answers as to why I was falling apart. I did need to get a job again after a break from work, so figuring myself out gave me the impetus to seek a diagnosis, though I had to go private as there isn't any other option in my area. If it wasn't for that I would have probably held back from doing it too, as it is very scary having to talk about yourself. I also didn't have anyone to talk to about it with (my husband knew I was having problems but didn't know what to do and had suggested a counsellor but I didn't feel able to even do that previously).

Diagnosis was hard as most of it I hadn't talked about with anyone or maybe mentioned once to my husband at some point, though some of it he knew first hand.

If you want to do it, find your personal reason and hold on to it, as you'll need it to reassure yourself while you are waiting or questioning yourself. I started writing things down to remind myself, as it's easy to start feeling like an imposter, even after diagnosed. Perhaps it's also good to write down what you want to get out of it, as you can feel a bit lost and confused after the assessment whatever the outcome.

I respect those who choose not to get assessed, as I think if you can accept it yourself you can start the healing process without the wait, though I did go for diagnosis in the end. 

One thing to add, if you aren't sure about the history stuff, make sure you find a provider who will accept what you have. Some are strict and want an informant, but will tell you what they do accept for it, like school reports, so you'll need to do your research as you don't want to sit on a waiting list and then find out.

Good luck either way, and just try be kind to yourself.

Thank you Lotus! Means a lot to know the diagnosis isn't the be all and end all of things. I do hope for me that it gives me extra confidence to be my authentic self. Talking on here I hope will help with that too. Speaking to others with similar experiences suddenly makes you feel seen and less alone.

I don't think I have ADHD. From basic diagnistic I don't met it. I do think the interplay with both must be hard sometimes. Glad you got what you need

My therapist suggested possible ADHD to me too. I was diagnosed with ADHD first and then Autism. 

Hi. It's a tough process which I've only just started - diagnosed last week in my 60s. So far it's a mess of overwhelming feelings, grief with glimmers of anger mixed with tiny sparks of hope and total exhaustion. It's definitely messy. I had no family of friends to support me either.  I've told nobody in my life yet because I need time to take it in and steel myself for unwelcome comments from people who don't understand. In the long run I think I'll be glad I finally got a diagnosis. It makes sense of so much confusion in my life. Being on your own with this is very hard. Some outlet and support is going to be really important. 

Hi and welcome. I'm a woman in my mid sixties and realised that I was on the spectrum around 9 years ago. I have so far not pursued a diagnosis, partly due to the same reservations you have. It would just be a label for me, it wouldn't make any significant difference to my life. However some people get a sense of validation or are able to access support they need from a formal diagnosis, which is great - we're all different. So I just wanted to reassure you that whether you go ahead with a diagnosis or not, you're welcome here.

Hi, you ate not alone with your experience. I received confirmation of my dates in October/November for assessment for Autism. The psychologist wrote me, that my memories and the evidence I have (not much) are enough. I'm going private in Germany (country I'm living in). My therapist wants to refer me to a diagnostician in our town, but we are nit sure if it's possible. 

There are diagnosticians who understand the complicated situation of late realised autistic people. I'm not officially diagnosed, so far, and here you don't need the official diagnosis. I wish you get support and enjoy being here. For me this forum is very Important because it gives me sense of belonging and is a proof, that im not the only one not fitting this world.

Therapists have seen people like us before, and I do imagine many of their clients are neurodivergent. We are hidden in plain sight! 

I would recommend Late Bloomer by Clem Bastow. Unmasked by Ellie Middleton, Why can’t I just enjoy things? by Pierre Novelli, The Lost Girls of Autism by Gina Rippon. I have read others but can remember the titles … these should keep you going for a while. 

That is so funny about your experience with therapist as I have had the exact same experience. They made me realise I am likely Autistic. I have also been called quirky! What books have you read? I will have a read through forum items as that will help too I'm sure. Thanks for replying

Hi Alice I an awaiting assessment in UK, via right to choose. My therapist brought it to my attention that I am certainly neurodivergent and through reading books  and talking to her I realise I am really very autistic!! So my advise would be to read lots, follow autistic social media people, spend time here reading other people’s experiences. I don’t have a parent to share my childhood milestones and habits etc, only have the information I can remember. I have been trying to unmask but as you say it’s not easy, I have been described as quirky as I freely stim in public but I never realised! Hopefully some other women will be able to comment.