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Need advice for attending 1st funeral pls x

Calaveras

Hello, I'm autistic and am really stressed right now. My mums uncle died just after Xmas and tomorrow is his funeral, and I offered to go with my mum for support which is crazy because I can hardly look after myself. Lol.

So tomorrow at midday is the funeral and I'm obsessing over it like crazy because I've never been to a funeral before and have no idea what to expect and now my head has thoughts racing at like 100mph like how many people will there be, what if I have a meltdown, what if I have to talk to people...

So far the only positive thing I've come up with is sitting at the back of the church so if I feel a meltdown approach I can quickly step outside and get some air and ground myself. But the rest of it I'm so stressed about it and I can't stop worrying.

I hardly slept last night, and this morning I have a throbbing headache and have had acid reflux and nausea to contend with. Uggh I hate anxiety so much!!!

I would really appreciate some insight from other autistic people. Any ideas for getting through this horror would be more than appreciated!

Parents

  • If you concentrate on supporting your mother, who will likely be upset on and off during the funeral, and not on yourself it will probably be good for both of you. Everyone will be concentrating on their memories of the deceased, not on you. It isn't a performance, you are not there to be judged. I attended the funeral of my aunt yesterday and nothing untoward happened. I felt rather upset when the last piece of music was playing, but I coped, so will you.

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  • If you concentrate on supporting your mother, who will likely be upset on and off during the funeral, and not on yourself it will probably be good for both of you. Everyone will be concentrating on their memories of the deceased, not on you. It isn't a performance, you are not there to be judged. I attended the funeral of my aunt yesterday and nothing untoward happened. I felt rather upset when the last piece of music was playing, but I coped, so will you.

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