Need advice for attending 1st funeral pls x

I've been to a few, most recently last year for an aunt.  I will explain what happened in the hope it gives you some context.

The service was at the funeral home, so may differ from a church/religious examples, and we just went in and sat down (I think it's more common ove here, some will approach the coffin, but it's personal choice). Some people may speak to your mum, but funerals are one of those times when you don't always need to say a lot unless you were close with the deceased and want comfort with others. There is sometimes a leaflet made by the family, and from my point of view is helpful to have something to focus on and look at. As profdanger said, it's okay to pop out if it's too much, no one would say anything.

Someone normally speaks about their life in a eulogy, which can be interesting to find out about the person if you didn't know them well. There can be hymns and music. At that one they had an ABBA song as my aunt was into that group, so they can be different if it's not in a church. On the way out, the immediate family had formed a line and we went past and said something like profdanger said 'sorry for your loss'. 

After we went to the burial- unless you were close, you can stand towards the back. Having your head down and not talking is fine then. It's more quiet personal reflection time. 

The wake like B mentioned,  was the hardest bit really and only because that is when people are social. It was just family on this occasion for me, though I am awkward around them and don't know how to approach people already in conversation. You can choose to stick by your mum and just let her do the talking, or if she's fine, you can find a quiet spot to yourself. It isn't that hard actually, as being quiet is okay and for once is actually acceptable. The worst bit is feeling awkard, but there isn't a lot of pressure.

I think the anxiety of going is worse, but the focus is on the immediate family, so there shouldn't be much pressure at all.

I've been to a few, most recently last year for an aunt.  I will explain what happened in the hope it gives you some context.

The service was at the funeral home, so may differ from a church/religious examples, and we just went in and sat down (I think it's more common ove here, some will approach the coffin, but it's personal choice). Some people may speak to your mum, but funerals are one of those times when you don't always need to say a lot unless you were close with the deceased and want comfort with others. There is sometimes a leaflet made by the family, and from my point of view is helpful to have something to focus on and look at. As profdanger said, it's okay to pop out if it's too much, no one would say anything.

Someone normally speaks about their life in a eulogy, which can be interesting to find out about the person if you didn't know them well. There can be hymns and music. At that one they had an ABBA song as my aunt was into that group, so they can be different if it's not in a church. On the way out, the immediate family had formed a line and we went past and said something like profdanger said 'sorry for your loss'. 

After we went to the burial- unless you were close, you can stand towards the back. Having your head down and not talking is fine then. It's more quiet personal reflection time. 

The wake like B mentioned,  was the hardest bit really and only because that is when people are social. It was just family on this occasion for me, though I am awkward around them and don't know how to approach people already in conversation. You can choose to stick by your mum and just let her do the talking, or if she's fine, you can find a quiet spot to yourself. It isn't that hard actually, as being quiet is okay and for once is actually acceptable. The worst bit is feeling awkard, but there isn't a lot of pressure.

I think the anxiety of going is worse, but the focus is on the immediate family, so there shouldn't be much pressure at all.