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Need advice for attending 1st funeral pls x

Calaveras

Hello, I'm autistic and am really stressed right now. My mums uncle died just after Xmas and tomorrow is his funeral, and I offered to go with my mum for support which is crazy because I can hardly look after myself. Lol.

So tomorrow at midday is the funeral and I'm obsessing over it like crazy because I've never been to a funeral before and have no idea what to expect and now my head has thoughts racing at like 100mph like how many people will there be, what if I have a meltdown, what if I have to talk to people...

So far the only positive thing I've come up with is sitting at the back of the church so if I feel a meltdown approach I can quickly step outside and get some air and ground myself. But the rest of it I'm so stressed about it and I can't stop worrying.

I hardly slept last night, and this morning I have a throbbing headache and have had acid reflux and nausea to contend with. Uggh I hate anxiety so much!!!

I would really appreciate some insight from other autistic people. Any ideas for getting through this horror would be more than appreciated!

Parents

  • Do you have a printed order of service?

    That would give you a good idea of what will be happening.

    profdanger said:
    so one thing you might ask is if there is a wake before the funeral. I am not sure if it’s done any different in the UK, but traditionally here a wake has people form a line so that they can visit with the deceased’s body and the immediate family to give their condolences.

    We tend to have a wake after the service here (England) where you get together for food and drinks but that doesn't always happen.

    I wonder how different these customs are Church of England -v- Catholic -v- all other faiths -v- secular.

    Most of the funerals I have attended have been secular so that is where my experience lies.

    I think that will probably be quite important regarding what to expect.

    All the very best and well done.

    Think of it as celebrating a life.

Reply

  • Do you have a printed order of service?

    That would give you a good idea of what will be happening.

    profdanger said:
    so one thing you might ask is if there is a wake before the funeral. I am not sure if it’s done any different in the UK, but traditionally here a wake has people form a line so that they can visit with the deceased’s body and the immediate family to give their condolences.

    We tend to have a wake after the service here (England) where you get together for food and drinks but that doesn't always happen.

    I wonder how different these customs are Church of England -v- Catholic -v- all other faiths -v- secular.

    Most of the funerals I have attended have been secular so that is where my experience lies.

    I think that will probably be quite important regarding what to expect.

    All the very best and well done.

    Think of it as celebrating a life.

Children
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