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Saddness after diagnosis

Ma.ra.

Dear All,

I wish for your support. I am a late diagnosed women,42, and yesterday I went to therapy and told everything I’ve learnt about autism/my autism very proudly and my therapist was very happy but also said I am going to deal with this during my whole life. I got shocked. I thought we figure out the neurotypical world and our autism and build some switch modes when we need. I thought it is like a Master degree and then you are good to go. But as the way I understood my therapist, it is gonna be a long thingy. Would you be so kind to write me positive things cause I got very very sad. Disappointed My friendships are very new and I don t wanna overwhelm them and also I tried to start to explain my wiring but they somehow invalidate this and the struggle and the sadness and it is not helping me. Thanks so much even for like an emoji now!

Parents

  • I think you do look back and think about all of the things you got wrong when people were talking to you. I never realised I even had such a big problem until about 4 years ago when I realised I never really asked any follow up questions I just eagerly went off assuming I had gotten the right end of what was being said. I think most people I know before that were quite literal or just happy with me anyway so it wasn’t a big problem. Then you think oh what is my brain doing today Joy…. I think one of the biggest things I learnt early on which worked in my favour was to learn to laugh at myself…. It helped a lot and many of my friends were neurologically diverse too so they were all fairly similar - they always said I was so random but they seemed to like that - or maybe I was just the entertainment, who knows. So I think forgive yourself…. The hardest thing I struggle with is being able to tell when someone is “taking the mick out of me” but I’ve started getting on to that over the past year or so too and I think I’m fortunately surrounded by people who do see it and don’t allow it. 

    I would say try and think about yourself - your loves, your passions and focus on these and allow the friends to come to you. Do the odd thing and ask when they’re having a catch up next . People don’t meet up that often anyway because of life…. Take it one day and one step at a time…. Don’t feel like you need them to validate yourself though - you will find the right friends when you feel better

Reply

  • I think you do look back and think about all of the things you got wrong when people were talking to you. I never realised I even had such a big problem until about 4 years ago when I realised I never really asked any follow up questions I just eagerly went off assuming I had gotten the right end of what was being said. I think most people I know before that were quite literal or just happy with me anyway so it wasn’t a big problem. Then you think oh what is my brain doing today Joy…. I think one of the biggest things I learnt early on which worked in my favour was to learn to laugh at myself…. It helped a lot and many of my friends were neurologically diverse too so they were all fairly similar - they always said I was so random but they seemed to like that - or maybe I was just the entertainment, who knows. So I think forgive yourself…. The hardest thing I struggle with is being able to tell when someone is “taking the mick out of me” but I’ve started getting on to that over the past year or so too and I think I’m fortunately surrounded by people who do see it and don’t allow it. 

    I would say try and think about yourself - your loves, your passions and focus on these and allow the friends to come to you. Do the odd thing and ask when they’re having a catch up next . People don’t meet up that often anyway because of life…. Take it one day and one step at a time…. Don’t feel like you need them to validate yourself though - you will find the right friends when you feel better

Children
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