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Saddness after diagnosis

Ma.ra.

Dear All,

I wish for your support. I am a late diagnosed women,42, and yesterday I went to therapy and told everything I’ve learnt about autism/my autism very proudly and my therapist was very happy but also said I am going to deal with this during my whole life. I got shocked. I thought we figure out the neurotypical world and our autism and build some switch modes when we need. I thought it is like a Master degree and then you are good to go. But as the way I understood my therapist, it is gonna be a long thingy. Would you be so kind to write me positive things cause I got very very sad. Disappointed My friendships are very new and I don t wanna overwhelm them and also I tried to start to explain my wiring but they somehow invalidate this and the struggle and the sadness and it is not helping me. Thanks so much even for like an emoji now!

Parents

  • I think to feel some sadness regarding this is just entirely normal and to be expected. I often feel this too - not just about being autistic but about myriad aspects of my life and upbringing. You can’t really get rid of feelings of sadness - it’s just a part of being human to feel this way - especially if you’ve had quite a tough life (which many autistic people have had). I think you have to accept the sadness and just be with it, and know that it’s there for perfectly good reasons. What you can do is give time to try and cultivate positive feelings by doing things in your life that bring you joy, or be being with people that lift your spirits. Getting diagnosed doesn’t ‘solve’ the problems that we face as autistic people - but it does help us to have greater understanding of ourselves so that we can hopefully find ways to cope better. I think it also means we find we are part of a ‘tribe’ of autistic people - and many of us have never felt part of a tribe before - we’ve always felt like outsiders. So I think that’s a real positive. We know we are not alone. 

Reply

  • I think to feel some sadness regarding this is just entirely normal and to be expected. I often feel this too - not just about being autistic but about myriad aspects of my life and upbringing. You can’t really get rid of feelings of sadness - it’s just a part of being human to feel this way - especially if you’ve had quite a tough life (which many autistic people have had). I think you have to accept the sadness and just be with it, and know that it’s there for perfectly good reasons. What you can do is give time to try and cultivate positive feelings by doing things in your life that bring you joy, or be being with people that lift your spirits. Getting diagnosed doesn’t ‘solve’ the problems that we face as autistic people - but it does help us to have greater understanding of ourselves so that we can hopefully find ways to cope better. I think it also means we find we are part of a ‘tribe’ of autistic people - and many of us have never felt part of a tribe before - we’ve always felt like outsiders. So I think that’s a real positive. We know we are not alone. 

Children
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