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Saddness after diagnosis

Ma.ra.

Dear All,

I wish for your support. I am a late diagnosed women,42, and yesterday I went to therapy and told everything I’ve learnt about autism/my autism very proudly and my therapist was very happy but also said I am going to deal with this during my whole life. I got shocked. I thought we figure out the neurotypical world and our autism and build some switch modes when we need. I thought it is like a Master degree and then you are good to go. But as the way I understood my therapist, it is gonna be a long thingy. Would you be so kind to write me positive things cause I got very very sad. Disappointed My friendships are very new and I don t wanna overwhelm them and also I tried to start to explain my wiring but they somehow invalidate this and the struggle and the sadness and it is not helping me. Thanks so much even for like an emoji now!

Parents

  • Hello and congrats on being brave enough to reach out for support. This can be a daunting stop to take so cudos for that.

    The main thing to realise is that post diagnosis you are are exactly the same person (just as   says) - nothing was done to you in the process but you are now the owner of one powerful bit of knowledge.

    Now you know what us are the root of many of your lifelong challenges you effectively have a manual for it - there are many hundreds of books on autism out there so there is no shortage of advice and all you need to do it decide how/if you want to go on this journey of discovery and healing.

    It really is all positives when you look at it - the past is gone and cannot be changed so do not dwell on it. Learn the lessons from it and use it to shape your future.

    Your therapis and you are likely to have a bit of a journey as you explore what your experiences have been, the traumas it has caused and through exploring them (or unpacking as the therapist will call it) you will be able to realise you were not to blame for this stuff and you can start to forgive yourself and accept what has happened.

    This process can be painful but is very important to heal the traumas which are most likely still causing you to act in certain ways today that may not be the healthiest ways. Once complete you should hopefully feel a bit drained but much more "whole". Talk to the therapist if you are worried about it and they can explain the value of the process.

    You can also explore ways for you to cope better with things that stress you, decide if you simply want to avoid them or become better at enduring them when they are inescapable.

    So really it is all great news.

    If you want a book that is really accessible to dip in and out of with a great index of subects I can recomment:

    Autism For Dummies (2025) - ISBN 9781394301003 (paberback); ISBN 9781394301027 (ebook)

Reply

  • Hello and congrats on being brave enough to reach out for support. This can be a daunting stop to take so cudos for that.

    The main thing to realise is that post diagnosis you are are exactly the same person (just as   says) - nothing was done to you in the process but you are now the owner of one powerful bit of knowledge.

    Now you know what us are the root of many of your lifelong challenges you effectively have a manual for it - there are many hundreds of books on autism out there so there is no shortage of advice and all you need to do it decide how/if you want to go on this journey of discovery and healing.

    It really is all positives when you look at it - the past is gone and cannot be changed so do not dwell on it. Learn the lessons from it and use it to shape your future.

    Your therapis and you are likely to have a bit of a journey as you explore what your experiences have been, the traumas it has caused and through exploring them (or unpacking as the therapist will call it) you will be able to realise you were not to blame for this stuff and you can start to forgive yourself and accept what has happened.

    This process can be painful but is very important to heal the traumas which are most likely still causing you to act in certain ways today that may not be the healthiest ways. Once complete you should hopefully feel a bit drained but much more "whole". Talk to the therapist if you are worried about it and they can explain the value of the process.

    You can also explore ways for you to cope better with things that stress you, decide if you simply want to avoid them or become better at enduring them when they are inescapable.

    So really it is all great news.

    If you want a book that is really accessible to dip in and out of with a great index of subects I can recomment:

    Autism For Dummies (2025) - ISBN 9781394301003 (paberback); ISBN 9781394301027 (ebook)

Children
  • in reply to Iain

    Thanks so much  and   This big wish not to have sensory issues and do like 13 stuff a day like a n.typical is high and I am feeling left out. I wish to read about how to minimize this huge sensory overload I have when I am not alone, I really wanna join society, I like connections. Somehow this sadness feels like resting now.