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Friendships are hard and post-diagnosis

_Poetchi

Hey everyone, 

I am recently diagnosed autistic (have known my whole life but was diagnosed with OCD instead). Since getting my diagnosis I have found it really difficult to mask, which in a lot of ways is really good but in other ways it’s making me realise that actually I don’t really have any friends who know the real me. 

I’m 26 and have 0 social life, I basically just go to work and uni then come home again… I was wondering how you all find adult friendships when being autistic, as I often find them quite draining/ confusing but also I feel lonely. 

I’d love if there was a big group just for autistic women to make pals in, and I’m going to have a look at some groups in my local area I can maybe attend if they are online, as getting public transport can put me off going out really easily. 

Anyway, this is my first post on here and I hope you all have a lovely day :) 

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  • I have never found it very difficult to make friends, or at least strike up friendly acquaintanceships. I can usually find some sort of common ground with most people, though I have no ability to talk about sport. Keeping friendships going is more difficult. All my lasting friendships date from my schooldays/teenage years. The friends I made at university were geographically widely spread and friendships gradually petered out largely because of that. I'm afraid that friendships take effort to maintain. I often feel that making Zoom calls, answering emails and writing greetings cards is draining, but I realise that they are necessary.

    I have come to a personal realisation that the 'real me' is a complex amalgam of autism and masking/camouflaging strategies. The twain are inextricably linked. Though some relationships are of like to like, the best man at my wedding has an autistic son, opposites can also form lasting friendships. One of my friends is a professional actor, the opposite of me in personality, gregarious, extrovert and charismatic. However, we have been friends from our schooldays.

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  • I have never found it very difficult to make friends, or at least strike up friendly acquaintanceships. I can usually find some sort of common ground with most people, though I have no ability to talk about sport. Keeping friendships going is more difficult. All my lasting friendships date from my schooldays/teenage years. The friends I made at university were geographically widely spread and friendships gradually petered out largely because of that. I'm afraid that friendships take effort to maintain. I often feel that making Zoom calls, answering emails and writing greetings cards is draining, but I realise that they are necessary.

    I have come to a personal realisation that the 'real me' is a complex amalgam of autism and masking/camouflaging strategies. The twain are inextricably linked. Though some relationships are of like to like, the best man at my wedding has an autistic son, opposites can also form lasting friendships. One of my friends is a professional actor, the opposite of me in personality, gregarious, extrovert and charismatic. However, we have been friends from our schooldays.

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