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I'm curious, how do women/girls on the spectrum deal with dating?

SJH1994

I'm asking this as a male, so hope its okay, as its just a subject I was curious about

I often here how there is a difference in autistic behaviours between boys/men and girls/women, I was just wondering how this pans out in the dating world? I know a lot of males struggle in this regard, and are not as easy at hiding autistic traits such as social awkwardness, whereas women on the whole -I underline ON THE WHOLE, seem to be better at masking and dealing with social situations, I was wondering if there are any women who may have difficulty in this regard, ie feeling a bit overwhelmed, struggled with social situations and have not been able to participate in dating and are single as a result, or whether anyone has not really struggled so much, as I have seen it mentioned that autistic women are more likely to be partnered/married than autistic men.

Note-My experience with this and my current situation is fairly typical of many autistic men

Parents

  • My experiences similar to what Lotus described already. I do appreciate directness and logical approach, and I based my choices on having stuff in common and dedicating time to get to know people better. Call it a spreadsheet approach (as its possible to actually make a real list and use it, even if as a script - I just had to remember to ask the questions or don't forget to diplomatically voice out opinion on the matter), as the more things match, the merrier.

    Common goals, hobbies, interests, similar views, similar attitudes to life, daily news, weather, household chores, car model, plants to grow in the garden, places to visit etc. It is literally building a database and making connections within it between elements, and the number of combinations can be enormous.

    Think, the most important was to understand and decide on criteria that were important for myself and what I actually wanted (what, when and how).

Reply

  • My experiences similar to what Lotus described already. I do appreciate directness and logical approach, and I based my choices on having stuff in common and dedicating time to get to know people better. Call it a spreadsheet approach (as its possible to actually make a real list and use it, even if as a script - I just had to remember to ask the questions or don't forget to diplomatically voice out opinion on the matter), as the more things match, the merrier.

    Common goals, hobbies, interests, similar views, similar attitudes to life, daily news, weather, household chores, car model, plants to grow in the garden, places to visit etc. It is literally building a database and making connections within it between elements, and the number of combinations can be enormous.

    Think, the most important was to understand and decide on criteria that were important for myself and what I actually wanted (what, when and how).

Children
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