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I'm curious, how do women/girls on the spectrum deal with dating?

SJH1994

I'm asking this as a male, so hope its okay, as its just a subject I was curious about

I often here how there is a difference in autistic behaviours between boys/men and girls/women, I was just wondering how this pans out in the dating world? I know a lot of males struggle in this regard, and are not as easy at hiding autistic traits such as social awkwardness, whereas women on the whole -I underline ON THE WHOLE, seem to be better at masking and dealing with social situations, I was wondering if there are any women who may have difficulty in this regard, ie feeling a bit overwhelmed, struggled with social situations and have not been able to participate in dating and are single as a result, or whether anyone has not really struggled so much, as I have seen it mentioned that autistic women are more likely to be partnered/married than autistic men.

Note-My experience with this and my current situation is fairly typical of many autistic men

Parents
  • SJH1994 said:
    I often here how there is a difference in autistic behaviours between boys/men and girls/women, I was just wondering how this pans out in the dating world?

    I'm an autistic Brit and my wife a NT Brazilian - we met on a blind date when I was working in Brazil (not many people there speak English and I was having a hard time finding a date back then) - the grilfriend of a work colleague set up up as she spoke English.

    An interesting thing that stems from my autism was that she was quite shocked at my directness about things around the relationship - I would straight talk and be open about how I felt about things, would ask her directly to be my girlfriend (the local blokes are very commitment averse and like to play around) and that I wouldn't be looking around at other girls when we were out and about.

    This was 20+ years before my diagnosis but in retrospect it seems clear now that it was the autism, but it worked to our advantage that I was such a committed and open partner.

    I recall reading that autists often have success in relationships outside of their own cultures as so many of the unspoken rules are not expected from the partner. It de-clutters the social interchange and lets us work on what is explicitly asked for.

    Of course with so many being super anxious and change averse, not many would get into that situation to be able to use it.

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  • SJH1994 said:
    I often here how there is a difference in autistic behaviours between boys/men and girls/women, I was just wondering how this pans out in the dating world?

    I'm an autistic Brit and my wife a NT Brazilian - we met on a blind date when I was working in Brazil (not many people there speak English and I was having a hard time finding a date back then) - the grilfriend of a work colleague set up up as she spoke English.

    An interesting thing that stems from my autism was that she was quite shocked at my directness about things around the relationship - I would straight talk and be open about how I felt about things, would ask her directly to be my girlfriend (the local blokes are very commitment averse and like to play around) and that I wouldn't be looking around at other girls when we were out and about.

    This was 20+ years before my diagnosis but in retrospect it seems clear now that it was the autism, but it worked to our advantage that I was such a committed and open partner.

    I recall reading that autists often have success in relationships outside of their own cultures as so many of the unspoken rules are not expected from the partner. It de-clutters the social interchange and lets us work on what is explicitly asked for.

    Of course with so many being super anxious and change averse, not many would get into that situation to be able to use it.

Children