I’m currently going through the diagnosis process with my daughter. Referred when she was 3/4 and now about to turn 7. Had our first appointment yesterday and the assessor says she is most likely ADHD but only has maybe a handful of autistic traits. She autism traits she was asking questions about I feel don’t really relate to girls on the spectrum.
My daughter is exactly the same as me when I was a child except my childhood was filled with a lot less understanding, especially from school. I was seen by psychiatrists since a very young age but my mum thought it was to do with her divorce rather than something else so I didn’t get an autism diagnosis until I was in my 20s. The reason I differ from my daughter at the moment is because I had all those ADHD traits hammered out of me from a young age so I spent the majority of my life in burnout and masking, which I’m trying to undo now.
What I’m struggling with at the moment is how is ADHD and autism differentiated in girls? She has traits where she never uses body language, doesn’t understand social cues, has no idea what other people are feeling or thinking, sensory issues, and thrives on routine. The assessor says even though these traits are there the fact that she’s sociable and wants to play means she doesn’t think she’s autistic, but my understanding is most females with autism are sociable and happy to talk about topics that interest them, and love to go out and do things with others, the problem is it’s just too difficult because of not understanding social cues or getting bored easily due to no interest or difficulty with things like small talk. Also harder to concentrate and need time to recharge social batteries because the constant bombardment of sensory information we need a break from.
So, how do I make sure my daughter gets the correct diagnosis? I might need to write things down for the assessor while I think of them, like the fact she is asking me if my daughters facial expres
ons match how she’s feeling or if my daughter gets social cues when I have problems with that myself. I have no idea if she’s getting social cues or not but she does talk over people and doesn’t know when she’s supposed to say certain things so that’s why the assessor has gone with her not being able to understand social cues. She also asked if my daughters facial expressions shows concern to people and I said yes, but I understand it from my point of view where showing concern to me is us saying ‘what is wrong with that person’ and then working out how we might be able to help, or to learn from the situation. But, that has come across as not an autistic trait to the assessor because she thinks my daughter is able to show concern but maybe in the way she interprets in, where in a real life situation people would say that isn’t the correct way to show concern.
Sorry for long post. I’m not sure who to discuss this with and I have the habit of over communicating to try and make sure I get my point across correctly.
