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Happy to be single?

Littlemissanxious

Hello everyone,

I have been single for the last 3 years and out of the 4 serious relationships I have been in 3 have been abusive in different ways. The most recent wasn't however he was just not very pleasant so I ended it. I now feel too scared to even think about another relationship,  to the point I make absolutely no effort to socialise with new people. Part of me feels sad about this as I am im my 40s and always just presumed I would meet "Mr Right" and that would be it. 

I just wondered do people find their autism/adhd a big barrier in relationships? I feel my issue is I am too trusting and I believe what people tell me. I always like to see the good in people even when it's clear that they do not really have good intentions.  I just sinply do not have the feeling of wanting anyone in my life other than my  wonderful children. Maybe I will just get a pet once my children are grown! 

Sorry for the ramble, I think honestly it's not so much that I am wanting a relationship,  more like I feel I "should" as that's the "norm" expected of me. Its tiring hearing the question "is anyone new on the scene ". I now just reply with a simple "no". 

Parents

  • Plenty of people come to the realisation that they neither wish to seek, nor need, a "relationship" in the purest one-on-one sense of that word.

    If your heart tells you that you don't ACTUALLY want to pursue "a/the" relationship, then I consider it wholly normal (in the autistic sense) just to carry on with your life as it unfurls.......and don't allow yourself to feel "notional" pressure to be "normal."

    Rule nothing in (as aspirational), nor rule anything out (as a wild card.)  I think that.....therein.....lies the key to happiness and ENDLESS possibility.

    fwiw - as above.

    Yours

    Number.

Reply

  • Plenty of people come to the realisation that they neither wish to seek, nor need, a "relationship" in the purest one-on-one sense of that word.

    If your heart tells you that you don't ACTUALLY want to pursue "a/the" relationship, then I consider it wholly normal (in the autistic sense) just to carry on with your life as it unfurls.......and don't allow yourself to feel "notional" pressure to be "normal."

    Rule nothing in (as aspirational), nor rule anything out (as a wild card.)  I think that.....therein.....lies the key to happiness and ENDLESS possibility.

    fwiw - as above.

    Yours

    Number.

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