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Happy to be single?

Littlemissanxious

Hello everyone,

I have been single for the last 3 years and out of the 4 serious relationships I have been in 3 have been abusive in different ways. The most recent wasn't however he was just not very pleasant so I ended it. I now feel too scared to even think about another relationship,  to the point I make absolutely no effort to socialise with new people. Part of me feels sad about this as I am im my 40s and always just presumed I would meet "Mr Right" and that would be it. 

I just wondered do people find their autism/adhd a big barrier in relationships? I feel my issue is I am too trusting and I believe what people tell me. I always like to see the good in people even when it's clear that they do not really have good intentions.  I just sinply do not have the feeling of wanting anyone in my life other than my  wonderful children. Maybe I will just get a pet once my children are grown! 

Sorry for the ramble, I think honestly it's not so much that I am wanting a relationship,  more like I feel I "should" as that's the "norm" expected of me. Its tiring hearing the question "is anyone new on the scene ". I now just reply with a simple "no". 

Parents

  • Family and social pressure played a large role in my decision to get married years ago. Unsurprisingly, the marriage didn’t work out, so now I am quite settled and content with my single status. In hindsight, being autistic and having difficulties communicating with my ex husband was not the best start, although I didn’t know I was autistic back then. 

    I miss not having someone to bounce ideas off or to offer support when things are difficult, but my ex husband wasn’t around much of the time anyway, and we seemed incapable of mutual understanding. Things are so much better now that I’m on my own and I do love having private space to hibernate, should the need arise. 

    There are lots of advantages to being on your own. You have control over your daily schedule and timetable. You can go to bed early or late without worrying you will disturb the other. You can eat when and what you like and go away for the day without thinking of getting back home at a certain time, plus the TV remote control is always in position beside my chair!

    it can be lonely, of course, but I keep busy and meet up with some of my friends (individually) most weeks.

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  • Family and social pressure played a large role in my decision to get married years ago. Unsurprisingly, the marriage didn’t work out, so now I am quite settled and content with my single status. In hindsight, being autistic and having difficulties communicating with my ex husband was not the best start, although I didn’t know I was autistic back then. 

    I miss not having someone to bounce ideas off or to offer support when things are difficult, but my ex husband wasn’t around much of the time anyway, and we seemed incapable of mutual understanding. Things are so much better now that I’m on my own and I do love having private space to hibernate, should the need arise. 

    There are lots of advantages to being on your own. You have control over your daily schedule and timetable. You can go to bed early or late without worrying you will disturb the other. You can eat when and what you like and go away for the day without thinking of getting back home at a certain time, plus the TV remote control is always in position beside my chair!

    it can be lonely, of course, but I keep busy and meet up with some of my friends (individually) most weeks.

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