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Happy to be single?

Littlemissanxious

Hello everyone,

I have been single for the last 3 years and out of the 4 serious relationships I have been in 3 have been abusive in different ways. The most recent wasn't however he was just not very pleasant so I ended it. I now feel too scared to even think about another relationship,  to the point I make absolutely no effort to socialise with new people. Part of me feels sad about this as I am im my 40s and always just presumed I would meet "Mr Right" and that would be it. 

I just wondered do people find their autism/adhd a big barrier in relationships? I feel my issue is I am too trusting and I believe what people tell me. I always like to see the good in people even when it's clear that they do not really have good intentions.  I just sinply do not have the feeling of wanting anyone in my life other than my  wonderful children. Maybe I will just get a pet once my children are grown! 

Sorry for the ramble, I think honestly it's not so much that I am wanting a relationship,  more like I feel I "should" as that's the "norm" expected of me. Its tiring hearing the question "is anyone new on the scene ". I now just reply with a simple "no". 

Parents

  • There's so much pressure for women to be parterned up, personally I think it's an old fashioned hang over from when women had no independence, financial and otherwise. 

    Don't get into another relationship until you feel ready to do so, there's no law that says you have to have relationships if you don't want to and maybe you're not suited to them Ifinally realised I'm not and feel loads better for it.

    iain, if bit into 10 apples and 9 of them had worms in I wouldn't eat them again, some time's you just need to learn the lessons the universe is putting in front of you, in this case it would be, don't eat apples.

Reply

  • There's so much pressure for women to be parterned up, personally I think it's an old fashioned hang over from when women had no independence, financial and otherwise. 

    Don't get into another relationship until you feel ready to do so, there's no law that says you have to have relationships if you don't want to and maybe you're not suited to them Ifinally realised I'm not and feel loads better for it.

    iain, if bit into 10 apples and 9 of them had worms in I wouldn't eat them again, some time's you just need to learn the lessons the universe is putting in front of you, in this case it would be, don't eat apples.

Children
  • in reply to TheCatWoman
    TheCatWoman said:
    if bit into 10 apples and 9 of them had worms in I wouldn't eat them again, some time's you just need to learn the lessons the universe is putting in front of you, in this case it would be, don't eat apples.

    If I found such a high a ratio of duff apples when research shows the norm is for apples to be healthy then I would consider if I was sourcing my apples from the wrong place, or improve my selection process to check if the apples have the entry holes where the worms get into them.

    If this didn't work then I would ask a specialist to help me choose better in future.

    To give up on what can be a delicious and healthy snack because of poor choice implies there is something wrong with what I'm doing, not that apples are inherently rotten.

    I think this is the more valuable lesson to learn.