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Am I autistic enough

CROSE88

I've recently been late diagnosed as autistic (im 32) after years of wondering and I feel like a fraud. I wanted a formal diagnosis as I just didn't feel 100% sure if I was autistic or not and I wanted a professional to give me a yes or no, but now I've got the diagnosis I don't feel any better. I thought this would put an end to the imposter syndrome but if anything it feels worse - im convinced I managed to lie to and trick my assessor into giving me a diagnosis when I didn't need one. 

Im also now seeng so much of my life with more clarity but there are still parts im struggling with and I don't feel like I am autistic enough - I know I mask well but I feel because my needs are not as debilitating as others I don't deserve the diagnosis.

The irony is I am a mental health professional who specialises in working with Autistic children and young people - I KNOW autism well and understand the psychology around the challenges it can present, but I just don't feel able to apply that to my situation.

Is this normal post diagnosis to feel like a fraud? Does it go away with time? And are there ways to begin accepting that your autism is enough?

Parents

  • Hello and it sounds a painful place you’re in right now…I could imagine that I may have similar feelings if I am finally diagnosed (I’m on a long waiting list) …imposter syndrome and thinking you tricked the assessor are understandable responses that could fill the space where you were waiting to be assessed …but you haven’t tricked anyone and are most definitely not an imposter….i hope these feelings will dwindle over time and you feel more yourself in this new place of being diagnosed…also, I wonder if you are happy with your diagnosis? Are you relieved or glad about it? I ask this because we have to wait such a long time these days that to then suddenly have this diagnosis that you’ve waited for, kind of upends everything in a way…like here you are, newly diagnosed…you got what you wanted….and now you have something in you that says you got it under false pretences…this is very hard…but I’d bet it is quite common…you are still yourself and in time this diagnosis could maybe settle as you get used to it. I hope so. I have found some great help around on YouTube and some websites like Autism on the Inside, and Autistic Not Weird…the latter site has a book of 150 people saying what they love about life, all ages and all autistic…it is a very warming book to have I’ve found….all these people who love life and find it interesting, beautiful and full of important people and animals. I’m sure you may know some people online that it helps you when you hook into their sites. We are all so very different in our ways of being autistic. Hope some of this helps. I’m a therapist myself if that helps. There must be lots of us out there :)

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  • Hello and it sounds a painful place you’re in right now…I could imagine that I may have similar feelings if I am finally diagnosed (I’m on a long waiting list) …imposter syndrome and thinking you tricked the assessor are understandable responses that could fill the space where you were waiting to be assessed …but you haven’t tricked anyone and are most definitely not an imposter….i hope these feelings will dwindle over time and you feel more yourself in this new place of being diagnosed…also, I wonder if you are happy with your diagnosis? Are you relieved or glad about it? I ask this because we have to wait such a long time these days that to then suddenly have this diagnosis that you’ve waited for, kind of upends everything in a way…like here you are, newly diagnosed…you got what you wanted….and now you have something in you that says you got it under false pretences…this is very hard…but I’d bet it is quite common…you are still yourself and in time this diagnosis could maybe settle as you get used to it. I hope so. I have found some great help around on YouTube and some websites like Autism on the Inside, and Autistic Not Weird…the latter site has a book of 150 people saying what they love about life, all ages and all autistic…it is a very warming book to have I’ve found….all these people who love life and find it interesting, beautiful and full of important people and animals. I’m sure you may know some people online that it helps you when you hook into their sites. We are all so very different in our ways of being autistic. Hope some of this helps. I’m a therapist myself if that helps. There must be lots of us out there :)

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