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Am I autistic enough

CROSE88

I've recently been late diagnosed as autistic (im 32) after years of wondering and I feel like a fraud. I wanted a formal diagnosis as I just didn't feel 100% sure if I was autistic or not and I wanted a professional to give me a yes or no, but now I've got the diagnosis I don't feel any better. I thought this would put an end to the imposter syndrome but if anything it feels worse - im convinced I managed to lie to and trick my assessor into giving me a diagnosis when I didn't need one. 

Im also now seeng so much of my life with more clarity but there are still parts im struggling with and I don't feel like I am autistic enough - I know I mask well but I feel because my needs are not as debilitating as others I don't deserve the diagnosis.

The irony is I am a mental health professional who specialises in working with Autistic children and young people - I KNOW autism well and understand the psychology around the challenges it can present, but I just don't feel able to apply that to my situation.

Is this normal post diagnosis to feel like a fraud? Does it go away with time? And are there ways to begin accepting that your autism is enough?

Parents

  • I'm so sorry to hear how you feel. I too am a mental health professional on the spectrum and I also can feel like a fraud. The funny thing is, I feel you likely have a better understanding of autism than most people, even those who diagnose, and you should trust that you are autistic. Just because you have worked hard to learn masking skills does not mean you are not affected. Simply having to mask every day is an effort that takes an emotional toll on you. Those of us who feel we may 'not look autistic enough' can pave the way for those who are looking for a diagnosis in the future! Be proud.

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  • I'm so sorry to hear how you feel. I too am a mental health professional on the spectrum and I also can feel like a fraud. The funny thing is, I feel you likely have a better understanding of autism than most people, even those who diagnose, and you should trust that you are autistic. Just because you have worked hard to learn masking skills does not mean you are not affected. Simply having to mask every day is an effort that takes an emotional toll on you. Those of us who feel we may 'not look autistic enough' can pave the way for those who are looking for a diagnosis in the future! Be proud.

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