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Am I autistic enough

CROSE88

I've recently been late diagnosed as autistic (im 32) after years of wondering and I feel like a fraud. I wanted a formal diagnosis as I just didn't feel 100% sure if I was autistic or not and I wanted a professional to give me a yes or no, but now I've got the diagnosis I don't feel any better. I thought this would put an end to the imposter syndrome but if anything it feels worse - im convinced I managed to lie to and trick my assessor into giving me a diagnosis when I didn't need one. 

Im also now seeng so much of my life with more clarity but there are still parts im struggling with and I don't feel like I am autistic enough - I know I mask well but I feel because my needs are not as debilitating as others I don't deserve the diagnosis.

The irony is I am a mental health professional who specialises in working with Autistic children and young people - I KNOW autism well and understand the psychology around the challenges it can present, but I just don't feel able to apply that to my situation.

Is this normal post diagnosis to feel like a fraud? Does it go away with time? And are there ways to begin accepting that your autism is enough?

Parents

  • I feel different to a lot of other autistic people, many of the the more known symptoms I don't have that badly, but some of the more unsual ones I seem to have by the bucket load, just the same as the side effects I get from some medications, I rarely have the common ones, but the 1 in a 1,000 or 10,000, I'll get those. 

    To be honest though, diagnosis came as a huge relief, I could stop pretending, let myself be where and how I actually need to be, rather than the semi-socially conditioned automata I'd felt I had to be before.

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    Mine are predominantly social issues and lack of variety in my interests, a few sensory issues here and there, the classic ripping out clothes tags and not wearing certain materials. Also not a fan of sudden changes and prefer routine. 

Reply Children
  • in reply to Autismman

    There are some fabrics I can't bear the feel of mostly nylon and manmade fabrics. I don't like sudden changes either, but thats probably because they're usually in response to something bad happening.

    I like my routines and have been told I lack sponteneity, but I've been told that by people who expect me to drop everything to go off and do stuff with them, when I have to work, or have something I have to do. I feel almost like they've done it purpose, as either the day before or the day after I'm free and I would be fine.