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Am I autistic enough

CROSE88

I've recently been late diagnosed as autistic (im 32) after years of wondering and I feel like a fraud. I wanted a formal diagnosis as I just didn't feel 100% sure if I was autistic or not and I wanted a professional to give me a yes or no, but now I've got the diagnosis I don't feel any better. I thought this would put an end to the imposter syndrome but if anything it feels worse - im convinced I managed to lie to and trick my assessor into giving me a diagnosis when I didn't need one. 

Im also now seeng so much of my life with more clarity but there are still parts im struggling with and I don't feel like I am autistic enough - I know I mask well but I feel because my needs are not as debilitating as others I don't deserve the diagnosis.

The irony is I am a mental health professional who specialises in working with Autistic children and young people - I KNOW autism well and understand the psychology around the challenges it can present, but I just don't feel able to apply that to my situation.

Is this normal post diagnosis to feel like a fraud? Does it go away with time? And are there ways to begin accepting that your autism is enough?

Parents

  • I have posted similar things recently. It’s a bit of a double edged sword getting an autism diagnosis for some, it’s like you’ve finally been heard but also I think we ourselves don’t understand the condition as it exists within us. Some may already know themselves quite well or maybe inside out but self discovery can be a long lonely road without any immediate certainties available to quieten the inner doubts. 

    CROSE88 said:
    im convinced I managed to lie to and trick my assessor into giving me a diagnosis when I didn't need one. 

    This quote above is also how I feel, doesn’t matter how many times I am told I shouldn’t compare myself with others. Is it that we expect autism to have a certain “feeling” should we feel autistic? Should there be some mental “awakening”? 

Reply

  • I have posted similar things recently. It’s a bit of a double edged sword getting an autism diagnosis for some, it’s like you’ve finally been heard but also I think we ourselves don’t understand the condition as it exists within us. Some may already know themselves quite well or maybe inside out but self discovery can be a long lonely road without any immediate certainties available to quieten the inner doubts. 

    CROSE88 said:
    im convinced I managed to lie to and trick my assessor into giving me a diagnosis when I didn't need one. 

    This quote above is also how I feel, doesn’t matter how many times I am told I shouldn’t compare myself with others. Is it that we expect autism to have a certain “feeling” should we feel autistic? Should there be some mental “awakening”? 

Children
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