• Replies 3 replies
  • Subscribers 7 subscribers
  • Views 226 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Am I masking or is this a relationship problem?

Matcha

Hi, I'm asking this here because I don't really know who to ask for help about this. I've started dating a girl I really like, but now we've had a few dates I'm finding I'm having a strange problem. I've realised I have no idea how I'm supposed to act on a date when it gets past the initial first date, as this is my first relationship that's progressed past the first few dates.

When she comes over to my house she just wants to hold me and do nothing but say how much she likes me, and she talks about wanting to hear my voice and spend time with me. I know it's genuine, and I also really like her, but I don't know how to react. Like... she only wants to spend time with me? She genuinely only seems to want to spend time with me and I don't know how to react. Like, she doesn't want to watch a movie too, or do something with me? I'm confused at how she can like me so much she doesn't want to do anything else but be with me and I'm worried that she might pick up that I'm being too quiet or not saying the right thing on the date and get upset or something, and I won't know what to say.

I feel guilty for writing this, but I also don't want to let her down by her figuring out I have no idea how I'm supposed to act on dates, and know something needs to change. Can any other AuDHD women on here relate?

Parents

  • I can understand why you have the heebie jeebies, even if they're good heebie jeebies.

    Does she know you're ND? If not then explain it to her and say that when she's says how much she likes being around you, you're not sure how to respond and this is a new experience for you and will take a while for you to become accustomed too. Then maybe you could work out a shorthand between you, so when she tells you how much she wants to be with you, providing you feel the same, could you use a word like "ditto". After a while you could even just say "ditto" to her out of the blue and hopefully she will know what you're saying without having to get all th words out?

    I'm not sure how good any advice from me is as I'm a disaster area when it comes to relationships.

Reply

  • I can understand why you have the heebie jeebies, even if they're good heebie jeebies.

    Does she know you're ND? If not then explain it to her and say that when she's says how much she likes being around you, you're not sure how to respond and this is a new experience for you and will take a while for you to become accustomed too. Then maybe you could work out a shorthand between you, so when she tells you how much she wants to be with you, providing you feel the same, could you use a word like "ditto". After a while you could even just say "ditto" to her out of the blue and hopefully she will know what you're saying without having to get all th words out?

    I'm not sure how good any advice from me is as I'm a disaster area when it comes to relationships.

Children
No Data