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Late diagnosed

Chloe1980

Hello

I've just been diagnosed with Autism but told my family about a year ago I was going for it, got my adhd diagnosis April 2024. I don't know if it's just me but I feel my family have been so dismissive, to me this is life changing, I've had poor mental health my whole life with quite serious epsiodes that my famly know about and the person that has reacted the absolute worst is my own mother, people who reacted the best, my undiagnosed neurodivergent friends that Ive known since childhood.

I've had alot of comments like 'everyone has problems' 'everyone is a little bit ADHD' to purely just ignoring it, like one perosn I know said 'Ha! interesting" like am I going mad? I don't think, in fact I know if someone opened up to me and told me that I would see the enormatity of it. My Mum also won't acknowledge my comments about my daugher having it either. We just had an argument as I opened up and said she was upsetting me with her lack of interest and she flew off the handle and said everyone has problems and that why am I always so sensitive and I havent even asked how she is lately. Some people I've told and theyve simply not got back to me.

Is this a common occurance?

Parents

  • I have mentioned my suspicions to a couple of other people and have had the same reaction, there's nothing wrong with you , you can't be, everyone has issues, etc. typical stuff.

    But I was thinking, what actual reaction do I or other people want?

    You are still the same person, having a label doesn't change that. They will still see you the same unless you change your behaviours in a way that is externally noticeable.

    Comments such as I understand, or I'm sorry, or too bad, won't help.

    You don't really want people to start doing things for you as that will disempower you.

    So is just a sympathetic smile all that is needed?

    Life still goes on and you are still the only one that can decide what you want.

    (Athough that has always been my issue, I don't know what I want, but that is not something that other people can fix).

Reply

  • I have mentioned my suspicions to a couple of other people and have had the same reaction, there's nothing wrong with you , you can't be, everyone has issues, etc. typical stuff.

    But I was thinking, what actual reaction do I or other people want?

    You are still the same person, having a label doesn't change that. They will still see you the same unless you change your behaviours in a way that is externally noticeable.

    Comments such as I understand, or I'm sorry, or too bad, won't help.

    You don't really want people to start doing things for you as that will disempower you.

    So is just a sympathetic smile all that is needed?

    Life still goes on and you are still the only one that can decide what you want.

    (Athough that has always been my issue, I don't know what I want, but that is not something that other people can fix).

Children
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