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Anyone else HATE it when someone flirts with you? Is this an ASD thing?

Deconstructing_Danielle

Still waiting for ASD diagnosis but scores are pretty certain, my kids are autistic and ADHD. I’m ADHD. 

my whole late teen/adult life I’ve struggled massively with flirting or any sort of sexual advances even the most respectful attempts. It’s like as soon as the confirmation goes off in my head “yes this person is flirting with you” my whole body just goes on high alert. I feel unsafe, cringe, mortified, like my skin is crawling and I just want to run away and never see that person again even if we know eachother well. 

eye contact is hard for me but with some people it’s INTENSELY hard. Men that I work with (male dominated field of work) who other people have made comments like “he likes you” “it’s obvious he fancies you” it’s like when I force myself to make eye contact with them it feels like they see right in me like some sort of xray vision and I feel exposed and scared. 

I always thought it was a body image thing as someone who has struggled with their weight on and off but I think it’s deeper than that. It’s like even when it is obvious that someone is attracted to me I don’t think of myself as someone that could/would be desirable and that all just adds to the clumsy awkward horrible feeling. 

is it just me?

Parents

  • For very long time I used to take flirting as mobbing or it just felt weird and unpleasant and I never knew, what to do. I write it in the past because its my past experience.  I met someone wonderful and he is my husband, we don't flirt in a standard way that others do, so it is not an issue anymore.  I met him online first and our relationship built up based on interesting conversations, not just flirt and attraction. 

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  • For very long time I used to take flirting as mobbing or it just felt weird and unpleasant and I never knew, what to do. I write it in the past because its my past experience.  I met someone wonderful and he is my husband, we don't flirt in a standard way that others do, so it is not an issue anymore.  I met him online first and our relationship built up based on interesting conversations, not just flirt and attraction. 

Children
  • in reply to Alien0n3arth

    That's similar to my situation - me and my husband also built our relationship by learning about each other and having interesting conversations. We were introduced by mutual friends who thought we'd be a good match, and they were correct.

    I always found flirting a bit amusing - like a slightly silly game. Also, if someone flirts a lot I'm not sure they can be trusted - if you were in a relationship with them, they might flirt with other people. I've seen flirty people get divorced a lot.