15 year old at crisis point

Please can I ask for some help please.  My daughter is 15 she has been on the pathway for about 21 months now.  Her mental health has deteriorated massively in the last 12 months.  She currently spends every day in her room, in the dark.  She may sometimes come downstairs for 1 hour between 8-9 however this is becoming less frequent.  She barely sleeps at night but sleeps most of the day and hardly eats.  She talks about wanting to end her life and wishes she would never wake up.she hasn’t been at school since September and does not want to go back.  She’s used to be quite academic and do really well in her subjects now she couldn’t care about anything.  She is verbally and physically abusive to me on a more frequent basis.  Calls to the pathway and explaining all this leads me nowhere and I always feel like I’m getting fobbed off.  

I want my daughter to have her assessment as it could help her identify why she is going through this and it may just be what she needs to start to improve.  However, she Just shuts me down every time I try and have some communication with her about this.  She tells me I don’t understand what it’s like to be her and what she’s going through.  

really don’t  understand this waiting time why she cannot be seen sooner rather than later.  Does she need to try to take her life in order for someone to listen.  I wish I could pay for a private assessment but I just don’t have that sort of money.  I am so extremely worried about her.  She barely moves eats or sees daylight.  I will soon also have to worry about the toll this is taking on her physically as well as mentally.  Anyone out there who has experienced this and understands what this is like and can tell me what can I do to help my daughter.  I love her so much and it’s destroying me that I can’t help her.  Thank you.

Parents
  • Reading your post mirrors my daughter, she’s 15, hasn’t been in school for 3 years. She had her diagnosis in September, after waiting 3 years. She also stays in her room and pops down occasionally for food. I don’t have any advice as I’m in need of it also. I am at loss on how to help her, she has zero friends, maybe one online, but it’s not the same as in person. She is lost and so am I. I don’t know where the help is out there. Being Autistic and a teen is heartbreaking, it’s incredibly hard, when you love your child so much, you want to help them, but you just don’t know how to, I try so hard, but whatever I do is never right. you aren’t alone, I hope that gives you some comfort. 

Reply
  • Reading your post mirrors my daughter, she’s 15, hasn’t been in school for 3 years. She had her diagnosis in September, after waiting 3 years. She also stays in her room and pops down occasionally for food. I don’t have any advice as I’m in need of it also. I am at loss on how to help her, she has zero friends, maybe one online, but it’s not the same as in person. She is lost and so am I. I don’t know where the help is out there. Being Autistic and a teen is heartbreaking, it’s incredibly hard, when you love your child so much, you want to help them, but you just don’t know how to, I try so hard, but whatever I do is never right. you aren’t alone, I hope that gives you some comfort. 

Children
  • Hi -Thank you for reaching out.   I am sorry that you seem to be experiencing a similar situation.  We have since learned that if we  need to remove all expectations and just create a calmer environment with no demands.  It may mean that you feel sad sometimes we didn’t see her all day over Xmas but we didn’t ask her to and she ended up coming downstairs in the evening in quite a good mood.   I really believe that from learning from others that this is the best way.  It doesn’t matter if she’s not at school or doesn’t have friends or go out.  It doesn’t matter to her so it shouldn’t matter to us.  As long as we are there to give them the love and support they need The general consensus is that eventually they will fine their own way and things should start to improve.  I really hope that is the case for us too! Good luck x