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Teenager feeling behind in life

sapphic_disaster

Hi, I'm 16 and was recently diagnosed with autism having prevsoily been diagnosed with dyslexia and dyspraxia at 5. My mum has had suspicions since 6/7. Anyways, I've recently started sixth form and I've made zero friends making me feel isolated and unlovable. At my previous school I had a great group of friends but the enviromoent to make friends here t isn't rly compatible with my sensory needs. this has only added to my feelings of being behind in life- no first kiss, *** at make-up, no parties or anything else associated with the typical teenage experience such as reading festival. While I'm aware that those activates would be painful and a sensory overload I still feel left out and falling behind. Can anyone else relate? 

Parents

  • Hi, I’m 20 years older than you, but I relate with what you described, in my teens. I have tried to make some friends but always failed. Teachers suggested my mom that I might be autistic, but she ignored and denied that. Just around half year ago I found the explanation to the struggles I had in my life, especially youth. I also felt left behind, excluded, I often had a feeling that I’m kinda slightly disabled, unable to communicate with my peers, but willing to discus serious topics with adults or spend time in library. I was often bullied and depressed. I thought I was inferior to others. Things started changing when I became adult and started being more independent. I decided I don’t have to be like others, it’s a long journey and long story. Generally I can say - I decided if my environment does not accept me who I am, then let’s change the environment. It wasn’t quick and easy but I’m lucky to be successful in this matter. It’s hard work on both - finding your place in life and also working on yourself. Self awareness is very important. 
    the teen years always remain in my memory as difficult and traumatic. The only thing I miss from that period is the intensity of my experience. On one hand there were and still are sensory sensitivities, especially with noise and lights but there was also unique depth, synesthesia and generally my own vast inner world. I think Iost the ability to experience as deeply as before. Or maybe my impression. 

Reply

  • Hi, I’m 20 years older than you, but I relate with what you described, in my teens. I have tried to make some friends but always failed. Teachers suggested my mom that I might be autistic, but she ignored and denied that. Just around half year ago I found the explanation to the struggles I had in my life, especially youth. I also felt left behind, excluded, I often had a feeling that I’m kinda slightly disabled, unable to communicate with my peers, but willing to discus serious topics with adults or spend time in library. I was often bullied and depressed. I thought I was inferior to others. Things started changing when I became adult and started being more independent. I decided I don’t have to be like others, it’s a long journey and long story. Generally I can say - I decided if my environment does not accept me who I am, then let’s change the environment. It wasn’t quick and easy but I’m lucky to be successful in this matter. It’s hard work on both - finding your place in life and also working on yourself. Self awareness is very important. 
    the teen years always remain in my memory as difficult and traumatic. The only thing I miss from that period is the intensity of my experience. On one hand there were and still are sensory sensitivities, especially with noise and lights but there was also unique depth, synesthesia and generally my own vast inner world. I think Iost the ability to experience as deeply as before. Or maybe my impression. 

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