Published on 12, July, 2020
I’m relatively newly diagnosed (in my early 40s) and recently been reflecting on the extent to which I mask. Some posts in other threads have questioned people’s masking at diagnostic assessment as if the person can choose when to mask and when not to. For me it’s not that simple - there’s masking I’m conscious of and ‘could’ stop if I tried/had to, but there’s other masking I definitely do that has been ingrained since childhood. I can’t just choose not to do this latter type and I’m working hard to identify all aspects of it at the moment as I haven’t been conscious of it but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t caused me problems - main thing being residual stress. Just wanted to share these thoughts. Has anyone else thought about this?
I've got ADHD and OCD and my autistic friends think I have autism as well and I have to say I couldn't tell you where the masking starts and stops. I was late diagnosed with ADHD in my early 40s some years ago and OCD 20 years ago and I really don't know what's masking and what isn't. It does bug me as I know that masking is a cause of stress and I have big problems with that, but I can't fix what I can't identify.
Because I have been masking for so long (in my 50s, but only diagnosed this year) I don't really know where the mask begins and ends. It is too much a learned part of me.
I do little things like not looking so much into my wife's eyes when I am talking and also more obvious stimming at home. I don't think that I will ever fully unmask, as I don't know how.