Am I autistic?

Hi!

I am a 21 year old woman and recently I have started questioning myself if I might be autistic. I do not want to make assumptions or self-diagnose. I just wanted to talk to people who might understand my experience, as I feel professionals have not been able to help or diagnose me properly.

I always have felt different and I know I am unlikely to be a neurotypical person. I struggle with depression and anxiety, but I feel like there is something underneath that actually triggers these disorders. However, psychologists and psychiatrists I have seen never gave me a proper diagnosis for what I have. They suggested that I might have ADHD, social anxiety, OCD, avoidant personality disorder. Autism was never mentioned and I actually never considered that I might be autistic until recently, when I started reading more about ASD. If I am autistic, I would be what is called “high-masking”, I do not think anyone I personally know would think of me as autistic. However, when looking underneath, I think I might have some traits that could be considered autistic. And especially when I think about how I was as a child, I think I had some characteristics that are common among autistic girls, such as self-isolating and difficulty making friends; tics; sensory sensitivity (I would not wear jeans or any clothes that I found ‘itchy’; I could not look at shiny things because they overwhelmed me); I had fixated, intense interests; among other characteristics. As of now, I still feel I have all of those traits, but less visibly, I think I learned to ‘control’ and hide them better, as I feel they are not socially acceptable.

Anyone would like to share their experiences? What are some traits you all think people with “high-masking” autism have, particularly women? 

Parents
  • Hi. I was diagnosed in October. I never had that moment of realisation for myself because I know very little of autism, the more I'm learning the more it makes sense. I have had a million and one wrong diagnosis since I was a child and I was just lucky enough that after a long talk with my doctor about what I was going through she decided to do a little test and refer me for an assessment. I'm reading a book at the moment called women and girls with autism spectrum disorder by Sarah Hendricks which is helping me understand ASD a lot more and it has a passage about how a lot of women see it in themselves before health professionals. I would suggest you talk to your doctor. See if they will give you the test ( I don't remember what it was called but it was about 10 questions) and see if you can get an assessment 

Reply
  • Hi. I was diagnosed in October. I never had that moment of realisation for myself because I know very little of autism, the more I'm learning the more it makes sense. I have had a million and one wrong diagnosis since I was a child and I was just lucky enough that after a long talk with my doctor about what I was going through she decided to do a little test and refer me for an assessment. I'm reading a book at the moment called women and girls with autism spectrum disorder by Sarah Hendricks which is helping me understand ASD a lot more and it has a passage about how a lot of women see it in themselves before health professionals. I would suggest you talk to your doctor. See if they will give you the test ( I don't remember what it was called but it was about 10 questions) and see if you can get an assessment 

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