More challenging with age

Welcome 

Gremlin said:

I think someone posted a link a while ago to a paper on this but I lost the tab (I usually keep dozens open) and can't find the conversation again.

This might be the conversation you thinking of.

https://community.autism.org.uk/f/adults-on-the-autistic-spectrum/35259/overwhelm-fatigue-and-acceptance/342126#342126

The document I linked is about managing the sensory environment for younger autists but it does include an interesting section showing how resilience to sensory input declines as we age. 

I have certainly felt that being autistic is becoming more challenging as I get older. My sensory tolerance has reduced drastically and coping strategies no longer seem to work as they used to. I can no longer suppress meltdowns like I used to be able to. I can no longer multitask at all or cope with multiple auditory input sources at once. My executive function is shot to pieces and I have to keep lists for everything.

I have spent a lifetime unknowingly masking, in an attempt to meet the expectations of others and the unwritten social rules. All my efforts have resulted in multiple burnouts. Burnouts can cause regression and finding that things we used to be able to do become much harder or impossible.

For autistic women there is also the impact of menopause to consider, something there has been very little research on. I don't think is was a coincidence that my severe burnout in my 30s coincided with a premature menopause.

https://www.spectrumnews.org/opinion/autism-and-menopause-qa-with-rachel-moseley-and-julie-turner-cobb/

For those of us who have only discovered our autistic identity later in life I think part of that involves allowing ourselves permission to be ourselves for what feels like the first time in our life. I certainly am less willing to comply with how society thinks things should be done.

What you have written has resonated so much with me- it has been quite revelatory actually. My 5.5 year old has just had her initial assessment appointment and the paediatrician has said he feels confident she is autistic (although diagnosis is still quite a process to go through) and asked if I had considered getting assessed too. Wondering if I am autistic has been something that has always sat at back of my mind since I trained as a teacher and we had a session on autism and then sitting through subsequent inset day sessions on autism over the years but for various reasons I never thought I could or should pursue diagnosis. I think with what is.happenong with my daughter I should also look at myself. Since reaching my 30s and having children I have definitely found day to day life harder. I put it down to motherhood, pregnancy hormones, the invisible domestic load women so often carry in marriage etc. However as you've phrased : my executive function is shot. Even list making isn't always working for me. I am frequently irritable with overlapping auditory sounds (hard to avoid as a secondary school teacher and mum to 2 kids 5 and under). I have had a GAD diagnosis since my early 20s and the Dr my daughter saw said psychiatrists training now are being told to look to rule out autism for patients coming to them with diagnosis of anxiety disorders and depression because they recognise how many- women especially- are missed in childhood because they've been able to successfully mask. Anyway thank you for what you wrote because it has helped clarify for me that I should pursue assessment for myself. 

What you have written has resonated so much with me- it has been quite revelatory actually. My 5.5 year old has just had her initial assessment appointment and the paediatrician has said he feels confident she is autistic (although diagnosis is still quite a process to go through) and asked if I had considered getting assessed too. Wondering if I am autistic has been something that has always sat at back of my mind since I trained as a teacher and we had a session on autism and then sitting through subsequent inset day sessions on autism over the years but for various reasons I never thought I could or should pursue diagnosis. I think with what is.happenong with my daughter I should also look at myself. Since reaching my 30s and having children I have definitely found day to day life harder. I put it down to motherhood, pregnancy hormones, the invisible domestic load women so often carry in marriage etc. However as you've phrased : my executive function is shot. Even list making isn't always working for me. I am frequently irritable with overlapping auditory sounds (hard to avoid as a secondary school teacher and mum to 2 kids 5 and under). I have had a GAD diagnosis since my early 20s and the Dr my daughter saw said psychiatrists training now are being told to look to rule out autism for patients coming to them with diagnosis of anxiety disorders and depression because they recognise how many- women especially- are missed in childhood because they've been able to successfully mask. Anyway thank you for what you wrote because it has helped clarify for me that I should pursue assessment for myself.