I am 24 and got diagnosed at 17. I struggle to accept it and wish I was someone else, I would change myself in a heartbeat. I am embarrassed of being autistic. I don’t tell anybody unless I feel absolutely necessary, people just think I am weird.
I work 5 days a week and really struggle, I’m not sure if it’s too much for me. I feel stupid just writing this. I really hate myself.
How did you accept yourself? My acceptance seems to get worse
Hi there! I completely understand how you are feeling. I too realised I was autistic in my late teens and at first felt very embarrassed, worrying a lot about whether people would perceive me differently if I told them, or if they somehow found out. What really helped me is telling a few of my close friends at first and having a conversation about how I didn’t want to be perceived differently. My friends are really supportive and have plans in place for when I go into sensory overload, get overwhelmed in public etc. I find now (and I completely get that this is not always possible) that telling people off the bat that I am autistic - dropping it into conversations - means that I am not left worrying how people would perceive me if they knew I was autistic. It also helps me to ascertain whether it is worth being friends with someone. I think also just having positive self talk (granted, this is something I am still working on) and reminding myself that I can do hard things and recognizing that, whilst I do struggle because of my brain, it helps to me to see the world in a really beautiful way and to be creative. Although I would say I definitely accept myself much more than when I first found out I was autistic, there are times when I do struggle to accept myself (and get angry at my brain) and I think that, during these times, it is vital to give yourself some grace. I also like to make myself a list of all the things I love about my autistic brain (as corny as this sounds). I hope this helps you (or any other people reading this) in any way 
Hi there! I completely understand how you are feeling. I too realised I was autistic in my late teens and at first felt very embarrassed, worrying a lot about whether people would perceive me differently if I told them, or if they somehow found out. What really helped me is telling a few of my close friends at first and having a conversation about how I didn’t want to be perceived differently. My friends are really supportive and have plans in place for when I go into sensory overload, get overwhelmed in public etc. I find now (and I completely get that this is not always possible) that telling people off the bat that I am autistic - dropping it into conversations - means that I am not left worrying how people would perceive me if they knew I was autistic. It also helps me to ascertain whether it is worth being friends with someone. I think also just having positive self talk (granted, this is something I am still working on) and reminding myself that I can do hard things and recognizing that, whilst I do struggle because of my brain, it helps to me to see the world in a really beautiful way and to be creative. Although I would say I definitely accept myself much more than when I first found out I was autistic, there are times when I do struggle to accept myself (and get angry at my brain) and I think that, during these times, it is vital to give yourself some grace. I also like to make myself a list of all the things I love about my autistic brain (as corny as this sounds). I hope this helps you (or any other people reading this) in any way
