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Don’t like myself/ confused!

NAS89711

Hi, not sure where to start but I currently feel really confused about who I am and if I’m a nice person, I’m very caring but I don’t feel like I connect with many people externally, I work and am a mother (which I love), but outside of that I just feel completely misunderstood, my family I feel don’t like me and I understand I’m hard work, I’m only recently diagnosed asd at the age of 39, 18 months ago came out of a 20 year marriage and we have no contact and I just feel everyone else seems to go about life and im always hyperfixing on things or struggling, just feel very misunderstood and now analysing things in my report which have highlighted how much I struggle, I don’t know how I come across anymore, just wondered if anyone fancied a chat (on this thread) or could help me understand my feelings 

Parents

  • I also get confused, who am i, where have i been all my life? But i must be a nice good person because people like me. But i didnt always know this. To be honest, i over think things too, and it makes me ill. Im.sure you come across well, and are a good person, but i understand your concerns. Also i think many people think the same as us. I bet you would be suprised how many people admire you x

  • in reply to Tulip52

    Thank you for responding, I do help a lot of people but in my report it said I’m quite vulnerable in the sense of people have used me historically (I have a lot of medical history dating back from childhood) so I also feel like I thought I was a good judge of character but maybe I’m not and I get worried people have only liked me as they’ve gained something from me rather than because of unconditional love, how do you help yourself with self esteem when you over think etc? X

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  • in reply to Tulip52

    Thank you for responding, I do help a lot of people but in my report it said I’m quite vulnerable in the sense of people have used me historically (I have a lot of medical history dating back from childhood) so I also feel like I thought I was a good judge of character but maybe I’m not and I get worried people have only liked me as they’ve gained something from me rather than because of unconditional love, how do you help yourself with self esteem when you over think etc? X

Children
  • in reply to NAS89711

    I can relate to what you say. I have also been vulnerable and attracted unsuitable people. But they are in the past now. I am more aware now and choosy of my company. I wouldn't know if someone loved me. I didn't know that people liked me. I suppose that may be relating to not understanding feelings. My self-esteem is better. I get so chuffed when i get praise. Im 59! So i started believing people when they were nice to me or complimented me. Is it that you dont recognize love? Is it your belief that you have been punished for the things you have struggled with? Your perception? Is it you giving yourself a hard time? I just trying to help you look at it differently x

  • in reply to NAS89711

    I also feel like if people knew the real me whatever that is they would dislike me as aside from my children I’ve never had unconditional love and have always been punished for the things I struggle with