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Masking Autism

Jodie

I'm really worried that my masking ability is decreasing with age. I'm nearly 34 and I am always struggling to fit in and make new friends even though I spend most of my evenings in exercise classes. Its very difficult and I just shut down in social environments then am left feeling disappointed and sad that I can't put myself out there and communicate. I am always the only one sitting alone quietly while everyone mingles.

I'm masking all day at work as I am always having to help people and have meetings. I'm just desperate to have people understand me but I'm afraid it won't change anything for the better. I also hold alot of resentment for having to carry this all my life without knowing I needed help.

How does everyone else cope with social and working life? Are you open or masking? 

Parents

  • I used to go to exercise class after work. I'd stand there like a lemon while everyone socialised before we started. I could only manage hello and I didn't know how to do it like everyone else. Looking back, further socialising after work, no matter how small, all added up to exhaustion. Yes we want connections with people but it's also perfectly fine to sit there and be quiet if you are going for the activity rather than the social aspect. Ask yourself if this is what you really want or need after a day masking in work.

Reply

  • I used to go to exercise class after work. I'd stand there like a lemon while everyone socialised before we started. I could only manage hello and I didn't know how to do it like everyone else. Looking back, further socialising after work, no matter how small, all added up to exhaustion. Yes we want connections with people but it's also perfectly fine to sit there and be quiet if you are going for the activity rather than the social aspect. Ask yourself if this is what you really want or need after a day masking in work.

Children
  • in reply to Deleted User

    Thank you for that advise. I do go because I enjoy the classes but hate the before part feeling like a lemon lol. And yesterday I was asking my instructor a question 1 to 1 and she asked me if I was OK as I seemed emotional .... I felt embarrassed because I was actually fine. It makes me think this is what I look like all the time