So basically i was diagnosed with autism at the end of august at the age of 23 and at the start of this month started my first ever job in a shop. I have always found education environments overwhelming so I was always petrified of starting work anyways my friend works in this shop and she hasn’t been there long either and she said they wanted someone I felt obliged to say yes because i find it so embarrassing at the age of 23 i’ve never worked. I did two weeks of training with my friend it was just me and her so I felt more at ease however the boss has said i’m really quiet and she needs me to be more like them etc, so i’ve had constant comments on my personality which is really putting me down. I do talk and I am polite but i’m not overbearing or anything it’s quite a “rough” shop so I think they expect me to scream and shout etc but that’s not me. Anyways tonight i’ve had my first paid shift working with someone I’ve never met before and I felt so awkward and on edge the whole time I did try my best to make conversation with him but I just don’t know what to talk about at the end of the shift he said “do you not talk like” and i said “yeah but you don’t really either”. Again comments on my personality and I know by tomorrow all the staff etc will be told how quiet i am and i’ll be the topic of conversation again. When i was training with my friend i overheard her laughing and talking about me with a customer about a silly mistake I made while learning too and she’s constantly commenting on things and how if anyone gets robbed it’ll be me. What do I do? is it worth it? I’m at the point now where i’m so low i feel useless, i feel like there’s so many flaws in my personality is it worth carrying on I just feel like the whole social interaction is going to burn me out but I feel obliged to be in work because i feel embarrassed if i’m not also the extra money will help me
