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Sensory discomfort genitals

NAS88168

Hello,

I wondered if anyone has been in a similar position and has any advice.

My daughter (5) is an autistic ADHDer. She has massive sensory discomfort from clothing generally, but over the last few weeks she is increasingly uncomfortable even when naked.

She has said today she doesn’t like her vulva as there are bits that aren’t flat and flush to her body. 

We have always used correct a anatomical terms and hopefully created a open dialogue about bodies without shame. She just doesn’t like the wet sensation or feel. I’m at a total loss! 

Her self injurious behaviours are getting worse and she has threatened to ‘rip it off’. We have a CAHMS in 3 weeks but thought someone may have experienced the same. 

Thanks 

Parents

  • I think part of it may be having nothing else to measure it against as a child. I remember finding my testicals very odd as a young child. Why are there lumps here. What reason could they possibly have to be there. They don't seem to do anything. I remember wondering if they were full of puss like a spot and if I should pop them like a pimple. Once I understood what they were for I was a lot less weirded out by it.

    This presents you with an awkward conversation. As far as I'm aware the only purpose of the labia and clitoris is sexual pleasure.

  • in reply to Peter
    Peter said:
    As far as I'm aware the only purpose of the labia and clitoris is sexual pleasure.

    It is part of the reproductive system and the urinary system so the vulva has other functions than pleasure.

    Associating it with pleasure at 5 years old may lead to undesired consequences so I would probably aim the discussion more towards the fact that all bodies are different and possibly get the mother to demonstrate at bath time that is is perfectly normal to have a non-Barbie layout down there.

    Normalising difference and accepting it are one way to get her to de-focus on this issue.

    For the clothing you may want to try different textures of cloth with her to see if there are any which help.

    You may be able to speak to the doctor and plead to get her appointment brought forward because of the risk of self harm.

  • in reply to Iain

    I won't hazard an opinion on the merits of sex ed at 5 at this point but as a purely scientific observation the "bits that aren’t flat and flush" to the body the child is referring to has to be the labia and clitoris, not the vulva generally. There is nothing else there that would reasonably fit that description. And as far as I know the labia and clitoris don't have a function aside from sexual pleasure.

  • in reply to battybats

    See thats problematic because a lot of that protection is in the form of helping them to retain internal moisture (and also exclude external moisture), which is apparently something this girl is irritated by. I know 'theoeticaly' there is some protection from mechanical irritation but for a lot of women with smaller labia that's basically non existent and they seem to cope fine.

  • in reply to Peter

    That's correct regarding the clitoris, but not the labia- those are there to give some protection to the vagina and urethra. They can and do give pleasure but that's not their primary purpose, which may make any parent-child conversation a bit less tricky.

Reply Children
  • in reply to battybats

    See thats problematic because a lot of that protection is in the form of helping them to retain internal moisture (and also exclude external moisture), which is apparently something this girl is irritated by. I know 'theoeticaly' there is some protection from mechanical irritation but for a lot of women with smaller labia that's basically non existent and they seem to cope fine.