Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all,
I’m 21 and recently started a job in retail as i am a student and I’ve completely used up my loan due to everything going up so much in price
For me, in this new job it’s not so much the customers, or even the work that is the hard part, but instead struggling to get on with my colleagues however a couple times i have been confused by simple instructions which has led to unusual looks from the people giving me them
Currently im spending 8 hours being absolutely mentally exhausted by trying to fit in with the other girls, constantly nitpicking how im stood, what i need to say to seem funny, thinking they all think im a freak because im bad at joining in with the small talk / gossip aspect
im coming home after work and just breaking down every day because i just can’t access that social connection every one else seems to have, i was hoping for any tips or support
I'm confused by simple instructions in work all the time. But in reality, a lot of the time the simple instruction was simple, but it was said in an unclear way or when the person hadn't ensured I was paying attention. It's probably not you, it's the way the instruction was given. Because autism isn't a visible difference (my friends and family say I don't look autistic anyway.) people often misunderstand me when I don't understand an instruction. It's hugely frustrating, and used to make me feel useless at work. Things improved massively for me when I disclosed to my manager at work.
As for the social aspect, I really sympathise. I've had jobs where I've got on very well with people, and others where I've completely failed to fit in, as you describe here. It's horrible when it's the latter.