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Should I get back with my ex

Queen

I've been in a relationship on and off for the last month. We're no longer together but he wants us to be. I've never been in a relationship before so not entirely sure I know what I'm doing, I try my best but I am going through some personal mental health problems which have caused physical health decline as well

My ex also has a few problems going on as well, one major one is he's lost someone and he's struggling to work through it. I feel bad because with my autism and lack of connection I don't know what to say or do to help him. I can only listen but that's really not any good for him

Because of the stress for him and me I have ended our relationship before, quite a few times now but he messaged back and I trying again because he wanted me to and said we could make this work

From the stress of it all and his grief he can get a little worked up and overthink things. At times he hasn't been the nicest in his words, said I broke his heart and that I was vicious towards him which actually made me cry for a long time as I always try to be really nice to everyone

So last night I ended things again but he's messaged again since and is asking for us to give things another go

And now I don't know what to do. A part of me wants to do this but another part doesn't and I'm in two minds as to what to do for the best

My mum says I should ignore the messages and block him but I don't want to be cold and horrible

My friend says it's my decision but she thinks we would make a lovely couple

Parents

  • Relationships are hard and need a lot of things to work, many that just can’t be controlled. The biggest one is timing. You can met the most perfect person and if the time isn’t right making it work just isn’t going to happen. It sounds like both of you have a lot of personal things going on right now, and neither of you really have what’s needed at the moment to focus on each other and a relationship. It’s sad but there’s no shame in that. I would walk away and focus on you. Try and be friends. Once things have settled down for both of you maybe try again. But if the other person can’t except your decision and is willing to emotionally blackmail you and gaslight you in to changing your mind, I would say that’s quite a big red flag.

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  • Relationships are hard and need a lot of things to work, many that just can’t be controlled. The biggest one is timing. You can met the most perfect person and if the time isn’t right making it work just isn’t going to happen. It sounds like both of you have a lot of personal things going on right now, and neither of you really have what’s needed at the moment to focus on each other and a relationship. It’s sad but there’s no shame in that. I would walk away and focus on you. Try and be friends. Once things have settled down for both of you maybe try again. But if the other person can’t except your decision and is willing to emotionally blackmail you and gaslight you in to changing your mind, I would say that’s quite a big red flag.

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