Masking, personality and hobbies

it's a process... I am going through this myself... am reading Devon Price's Unmasking Autism. Really recommend it. 

What I am trying to do is to be more aware how I am when I am alone, by myself. Do I behave differently, do I dress differently and are there interests I have that I hide from others because I fear they won't approve? Do I choose clothing etc that would give me approval from certain people or because I like them myself? Are some of my interests tuned to make connections with others or because I am really into these things? 

it's a process... I am going through this myself... am reading Devon Price's Unmasking Autism. Really recommend it. 

What I am trying to do is to be more aware how I am when I am alone, by myself. Do I behave differently, do I dress differently and are there interests I have that I hide from others because I fear they won't approve? Do I choose clothing etc that would give me approval from certain people or because I like them myself? Are some of my interests tuned to make connections with others or because I am really into these things? 

I'm not sure how much is masking and how much is learned social behaviour everyone has to do. A gross example is nose picking, I think most kids do this and have to learn not to do it in public. What I wear round the house is not only not socially appropriate but not really weather suitable outside, so I do have to dress differently in public, but I don't think I'd dress much differently outside if nobody could see me? Maybe I would? I'd probably put on something nicer in some situations. But maybe I'd sometimes wear something nice just to amuse myself if alone. But only if it was also comfortable! I have mostly got rid of any clothes that aren't actually comfortable though.

I find it really hard to work out if I am actually masking or not, a friend from school said she thought I was the person most myself that she knew (if that makes sense) but I think I do try and pass for normal-ish even if it is a strange kind of normal. I've always been eccentric and not bothered about that. I wouldn't pretend to be interested in something I find excruciatingly dull just to fit in, though I might try to be polite about it rather than actually calling it excruciatingly dull! But I'd be trying to change the subject to something mutually interesting if possible.

Everyone adapts themselves somewhat to the company they are in, although autistic masking is a level beyond what everyone else does. I think that is what makes it so hard to unpick.

Yes it’s hard with social media as well isn’t it! I’ll try that and look for that book too thanks