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recently diagnosed and don’t know what to do

NAS83614

Hi! 

New here, i’m 17 and just got diagnosed which i’m aware isn’t super late but still feels like i’m mourning an entire childhood. I’m so angry at the people around me for not realising, it seems so so obvious looking back on it. I had to go through 2 years of complete invalidation in order to get a diagnosis and honestly the process was traumatic. Nobody believed me, not my parents or any of my family, not my teachers or most of my friends, even a few medical professionals brushed me aside once they learned i was an exceptional student saying that i couldn’t possibly be autistic because i “managed to make eye contact” “showed empathy” and “excelled academically”. I knew the entire time, i’ve known for as long as i can remember, that i’m autistic, and even i began to doubt myself (and still do) because of this experience. My diagnosis didn’t even feel as much of a relief as i thought it would, it was more just “yeah… obviously”. it’s been a week since my official diagnosis and i guess i’m just asking for advice on how to move forward, any tips on unmasking would be greatly appreciated and how to find yourself after hiding for almost 18 years! I feel very alone as of right now and it’s not nice at all, i feel like i can’t relate to anyone and nobody else has had a similar experience to me :/

Parents

  • Hello.  Welcome to here.

    NAS83614 said:
    i’m just asking for advice on how to move forward, any tips on unmasking would be greatly appreciated and how to find yourself after hiding for almost 18 years

    I am in your boat too.......but your 18 years is 50+ years in my case.  This is not lost time - merely part of our journeys.  Don't be angry.

    I feel very alone and have done so all of my life - both before and after knowing of my autistic self.  I think this is just something that we need to come to terms with.  Animals help me greatly - perhaps they can help you too?

    In terms of unmasking......please take care.  Slow and gentle is the way forward I believe.  Personally, I kept masking but did so in a very self-concious and analytical way.  I paid attention to how tense and tired I became and this allowed me to explore myself (that sounds so wrong!) so that I could then make appropriate adjustments to how I live my life - and with whom.  It is working - I think!?

    My best advice to you is simply to hang around these pages. Reading about the experiences and feelings of others who are wired like us is extremely comforting and reassuring to me.  Moreover, I have been supported and helped here in ways that I did not expect.

    Stay strong.  Welcome to our world.

Reply

  • Hello.  Welcome to here.

    NAS83614 said:
    i’m just asking for advice on how to move forward, any tips on unmasking would be greatly appreciated and how to find yourself after hiding for almost 18 years

    I am in your boat too.......but your 18 years is 50+ years in my case.  This is not lost time - merely part of our journeys.  Don't be angry.

    I feel very alone and have done so all of my life - both before and after knowing of my autistic self.  I think this is just something that we need to come to terms with.  Animals help me greatly - perhaps they can help you too?

    In terms of unmasking......please take care.  Slow and gentle is the way forward I believe.  Personally, I kept masking but did so in a very self-concious and analytical way.  I paid attention to how tense and tired I became and this allowed me to explore myself (that sounds so wrong!) so that I could then make appropriate adjustments to how I live my life - and with whom.  It is working - I think!?

    My best advice to you is simply to hang around these pages. Reading about the experiences and feelings of others who are wired like us is extremely comforting and reassuring to me.  Moreover, I have been supported and helped here in ways that I did not expect.

    Stay strong.  Welcome to our world.

Children
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