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recently diagnosed and don’t know what to do

NAS83614

Hi! 

New here, i’m 17 and just got diagnosed which i’m aware isn’t super late but still feels like i’m mourning an entire childhood. I’m so angry at the people around me for not realising, it seems so so obvious looking back on it. I had to go through 2 years of complete invalidation in order to get a diagnosis and honestly the process was traumatic. Nobody believed me, not my parents or any of my family, not my teachers or most of my friends, even a few medical professionals brushed me aside once they learned i was an exceptional student saying that i couldn’t possibly be autistic because i “managed to make eye contact” “showed empathy” and “excelled academically”. I knew the entire time, i’ve known for as long as i can remember, that i’m autistic, and even i began to doubt myself (and still do) because of this experience. My diagnosis didn’t even feel as much of a relief as i thought it would, it was more just “yeah… obviously”. it’s been a week since my official diagnosis and i guess i’m just asking for advice on how to move forward, any tips on unmasking would be greatly appreciated and how to find yourself after hiding for almost 18 years! I feel very alone as of right now and it’s not nice at all, i feel like i can’t relate to anyone and nobody else has had a similar experience to me :/

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  • The weird thing after getting the diagnosis isn't necessarily what does change but how much doesn't change. The diagnosis is just a professional acknowledgement of a whole life you have already been experiencing internally without anyone's permission or knowledge since day 1. And that will not change, there doesn't need to be a rush to unmask to "be your authentic self" when some of those things you call a mask can be very difficult to separate from you because you've been doing it so long and some of those things you might want to keep as an option for you to use until you feel comfortable and safe, especially when meeting new people Because putting yourself out there can be kinda scary. The best way to find your authentic self now is to just take it slowly one day at time and if you think oh is this me masking? when you do something, ask yourself does it serve you better to keep it or let it go? Because your authentic self is always in there and rushing to unpack yourself of all the extra stuff you've picked up other the years can be exhausting. It's always tough when you try to learn a new way to be, and easier if you just be. :)
    Something we autistics need to hear but sadly don't often is that we are enough just as we are. Because we are.
    I'm sorry nobody belived you, I hope they do now because that sounds like it could be really tough if you don't have that accepting support network to begin unmasking with.

  • in reply to 🐝 Bees 🐝 (they/them) Autism resources in bio #stoptheshock #NothingAboutUsWithoutUs

    This is a brilliant response and I'm going to hold onto this wisdom as I go through my own assessment. Thank you.

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