problems after restraint

hi all, my name is tracey and i am a mother to 6 children. my youngest 2 children are still living at home, they are nat who is 19 and dion who is 14. my son dion has downs syndrome and was diagnosed 3 years ago asd, i had been battling for 6 years for his diagnosis. dion has hardly any speech but uses makaton quite well, he has severe developmental delay. dion has always been the kindest of children, cuddly and friendly, does as he is told and a real star in our lives....but then....5 weeks ago there was a minor incident at school during changing in p.e lesson, the incident snowballed and as the school said "there were errors in the handling of the incident" the end result being the restraint of my son. since this day our whole life has changed and my son has changed also. he is anxious and nervous and has had a few more meltdowns. last night the lady that looks after him 2 nights a month phoned as he was having a meltdown, she admitted fueling the situation by shouting at him and then crying. i feel like just keeping my son with me all  the time, am i the only person that can see the early warning signs? i have told these professsionals triggers, things that calm dion quickly etc but they just do there own thing. i can see us becoming isolated from the world as these different parts of his life are falling apart. could do with some advice from those that really understand, you parents out there that reallyunderstand...

Parents
  • thanks for your advice mhairi, dion will be starting back at school on april 19th for 2 hours a day 2 days a week. i am going to be in the school while he is there but not in the class. i am hoping we can build him up slowly and hopefully increase this as the weeks go on. he has been at this school for 10 years and that i think is why i have been so shocked by what has happened. because of dions developmental delay he would not really understand a letter of apology and i think his lack of understanding has made the situation more difficult. i myself still havent seen him have a complete meltdown and go into "crisis" i think the psyciatrist called it. whenever he starts i have always been able to calm him down. i have noticed with dion that these episodes tend to start when he is happy but then he seems to get too happy and over excited, then he starts to do things like hit himself or tell me he is going to kick, it is usually at this level i can still manage to distract and calm him. i have told his school all the signs and given them all sorts of things that i know will calm him but they never seem to try these things until it is too late. the psyciatrist seems to think that he is now having meltdowns because of the 1st restraint they did and said that they are responsible for this, i have asked at 3 meetings for a copy of the incident report for the 1st restraint but they seem to have misplaced it. part of me wants to keep him home with me all the time because i have lost all faith in these other people that should be caring for my son but i know that he must mix and socialise so he can overcome these problems. now he no longer has his family link respite he is with me 24 hours a day and as a single parent i am finding this difficult. i love him so much and it hurts me to see him so anxious and so isolated.         tracey

Reply
  • thanks for your advice mhairi, dion will be starting back at school on april 19th for 2 hours a day 2 days a week. i am going to be in the school while he is there but not in the class. i am hoping we can build him up slowly and hopefully increase this as the weeks go on. he has been at this school for 10 years and that i think is why i have been so shocked by what has happened. because of dions developmental delay he would not really understand a letter of apology and i think his lack of understanding has made the situation more difficult. i myself still havent seen him have a complete meltdown and go into "crisis" i think the psyciatrist called it. whenever he starts i have always been able to calm him down. i have noticed with dion that these episodes tend to start when he is happy but then he seems to get too happy and over excited, then he starts to do things like hit himself or tell me he is going to kick, it is usually at this level i can still manage to distract and calm him. i have told his school all the signs and given them all sorts of things that i know will calm him but they never seem to try these things until it is too late. the psyciatrist seems to think that he is now having meltdowns because of the 1st restraint they did and said that they are responsible for this, i have asked at 3 meetings for a copy of the incident report for the 1st restraint but they seem to have misplaced it. part of me wants to keep him home with me all the time because i have lost all faith in these other people that should be caring for my son but i know that he must mix and socialise so he can overcome these problems. now he no longer has his family link respite he is with me 24 hours a day and as a single parent i am finding this difficult. i love him so much and it hurts me to see him so anxious and so isolated.         tracey

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