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Mainstream or Special?

Rachyjane1

Hi, not sure where to start really.  I live in Birmingham but actually fall under Solihull council and have a son aged 3 and a half in a mainstream nursery.  He was diagnosed with ASD a few months ago, although we suspected this for a while.  In the middle of the statementing process now, however, I am in a real pickle in wondering which school to send him to.  He has very limited speech.  He will come and ask me for things such as "computer on please" or "wheres drink?" etc but can't answer questions or have a conversation.  He is bright though and I don't believe he really has a learning disability.  He can recognise all the letters of the alphabet phonically and can recognise a handful of words.  He can't really draw or write, however if you ask him to spell his name, he can call out the letters in order and draw something that resembles the correct letters! He has sensory issues with certain noises but doesn't have routine issues.  I've looked at a few schools and although my local special school (Merstone) looks great, I can't help but worry that my son will start picking up unusual behaviours by mimicking whats around him.  Ideally, I think with a fab mainstream school thats supportive and with a good one to one worker, I really believe he will shine.  Sorry for rambling but has anyone else been in this position and what did you do?  Noone seems to be able to recommend a good local mainstream that is supportive with this as noone else has had the experience of it.  HELP!!!

  • Hi there,

    I'm currently in the same dilema, I'm 16 years old and my mum offered me to go to a special school (I have high functioning autism/ASD) and I've been in mainstream most of my life, until I moved to a school for kids with mental health and then homeschooling. I am at a loss, I think, do what you think is best for your child but if I'm being honest I would say that the mainstream environment is harsh and even though I have only been recently diagnosed, it would have saved me getting bullied having gone to a special school earlier on.

    Hope I helped,

    [name removed]

    Please remember not to use your real name to maintain your privacy. Kerri-Mod

  • I had exaclty this dilmma in September. My Son was 11 and doing so well in mainstream but it wa stime to move on and move to another city. We moved to Birmingham.

    I really didnt know whether to go mainstream or specialist.

    The key was that the children at his old mainstream primary school made allowances for his outbursts though, theyd known him since nursery so just filtered out his pacing or outbursts, the girls loved him and the boys protected him.

    I eventually chose a special school in Birmingham and I hate to say it but its not doing him any good. 

    His development has stopped, in fact Id say gone backwards. He doesnt try in class, he swears, his fixation for computer games is amplified now because its also the only thing the other kids talk about. I had to twice tell the school NOT to give him a punch bag to calm imself. I still cant believe they endorse that.

    The only way I can put it is like this, you put a Jibba Jabba in with a box of others and they all kick off. Put one in a camm environment and they adapt. Im really wanting to put him in mainstream now.

    I didnt initally because my main concern about mainstream was that hed be misunderstood, bullied, probably punched on the first day. However hes now in a room of kids who arent very good at controlling themselves anyway and so it's actually worse.

    Im now looking for a mainstream with provisions in the Birmingham area if anybody can reccomend anywhere. Im in Harborne but despite it being an afluent area the local schools seem to have terrible ofsteads. 

  • To Donnamo......yes that helps a great deal.  I've heard stories like that lots of times and just confirms my new found belief that my little one will be better in the special school.  Thankyou! x

  • I'm just in the process of moving my son as soon as a space becomes available at a special school. He is 8 and although his MS school tries to support him educationally the problems are that as he is getting older, he is becoming more and more aware of the fact that he is 'different' from other children and that he is not able to read and write like his peers. Emotionally I know the best thing for him to do is move as I can see that MS is having a detrimental effect on his self essteem. I hope this helps anyone struggling with a decision x

  • my son was dignosed with ASD when he was 2 1/2 he is now five he also has speech delay, sensory issues , is still in nappies and has to be in a routine or he will become very frustrated etc he is currently in reception of a mainstream school also in birmingham where he has a one to one helper, we've had a statement since febuary this year and we are yet to have been given a special needs school placement for him,  the school he is curently at said when we went to the induction they could have him there as they could meet his needs but now they are saying he can only stay short term and in the long term he will need to be at a special needs school as they cannot meet his educational or mental needs.

    what i would suggest is that you speak to the mainstream school and explain everything that your son will need and makesure that they can meet these needs fully because you dont want him to start then they say something different an he will have to be moved again also if you are worryed about your son copying other childrens behaviours at a special needs school i wouldnt worry about it as your son will pick up on things if hes at a special or mainstream school

  • Hey! The situation now is that we have had a proposed statement through and I had to sign and send back with preferred school on there.  I ended up going along with the Specialist school local to us.  We had one school not far away that was MS with a ASD unit but was over subscribed and had quite a poor ofsted report.  I viewed it and just knew in my heart that the best chance my son had was in Specialist provision even though I somehow feel he doesn't quite fit there either.  Reception year is classed as "early years assessment" and during this first year, my son will be constantly assessed and pushed to check if he has got any learning difficulities.  We don't believe he has but at least we know that professionals are working with him rather than a teaching assistant in a mainstream school that may not have full understanding or experience of ASD.  Don't get me wrong, it will break my heart when I take him on his first day.  Its a horrible thing to say but noone expects to have to send their child to a special school and neither do we want to but we have to do whats best for him and in our hearts we know that we are doing the right thing.  I'd rather start him at a SE school and then maybe progress into a mainstream rather than start him at mainstream, watch him struggle and then move him. Its such a hard decision but after speaking with my keyworker, I believe we've made the right one. Well, time will tell anyway!  

    There are just not enough provisions for children like ours and most people that work in the system will agree too.  Not severe enough for specialist but with communication issues, not quite right for mainstream either.  Tough choice.  Make sure you view as many schools as possible.  The specialist that my son is going to has an outstanding ofsted report, although you need to go and look at them to get a gut feeling.   It wasn't until I viewed all the other schools that I realised that the SE unit was the best.  Good luck.  Let me know how you get on!! x

  • Hi

    I know this post is old but just came across it whilt trying to make the same kind of decisions as you. My LG is the same age and has the same difficulties as you describe, we are awaiting confirmation for a SA. My LG does have good speech but does not understand a lot, this makes people who dont know alot about her think everything is ok 

    I have looked around a few MS and SE schools and feel she does not fit into the system anywhere. But what other options are there? Home ed?

    I am having a real problems making decisions about schooling and agree its one of the most important, we have 4 children and this is the hardest thing I have ever had to try and make decisions on!

    Would like to know if you have moved further forward since you posted? Or had any other ideas. thanks

  • Thankyou so much. I will speak with the head again about pushing my son academically and yes, you made a valid point about the sensory issues at mainstream. I don't want to make any decisions that will be detrimental to my son's well being as this is most important to me. I know in my head where the best place is for him to go its just my heart keeps telling me to explore other options. As a parent it's hard making decisions for any of my 3 children but this for me seems to be one of the most important ever! Thanks for the advice! 

  • Hello

    We've just asked for a special school to be named on our sons statement but he is 10, so a lot older. Up until now he has been in mainstream but without a statement, for us we realised that yes he will be at risk of picking up the other childrens behaviours, but he will have the support of specially trained staff to help him understand life better.  As he has got older, mainstream has proved to be more and more of a battle, especially because he has academic potential and it has been seen that is all that matters, not his emotional welfare, which is equally as important.

    I would be inclined to speak to the special school and ask how far the staff will be able to push him academically and differentiate the curriculum to meet his needs. What can they put in place for his sensory needs in mainstream?

    A difficult decision for such a young one.  Good luck.

  • I wonder if you're able to allow your son to attend both the mainstream and special needs schools for a few days to see how he manages?