• Replies 8 replies
  • Subscribers 65 subscribers
  • Views 1658 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

we need help!

Smurf

our 6 year old son has asd/adhd, he is currently in a mainstream school with a statement. he has in the last 18 months had 10+ exclusions from school and now we have been told the next one will be for good! they even had someone come from the local authority to the meeting to cover them legally. he has been excluded from the class room for the past 18 months, and is on a restricted timetable, we have managed to get them up to 1pm but up until late last year he was going in at 9am and leaving school at 10:30am. when ofted have been into the school we have been told to keep him at home and he has been excluded from all school trips, saying that he is too high risk the only way he would be alloud to go is if we went with them, this is hard as we hae 4 other children one of which also has asd. 

we are at our wits end and just don't know what to do! the school have told us that he's 1-to-1 at school is now on long term sick with stress of which our son is a contributing factor and another member of staff had to go to hospital with a serpected coller bone brake by my son! who is 6 and there is nothing of him, all of which has been given as evidence to permantly exclude him.

when we have asked to see proof of this they come up empty handed, when we speak to teachers they say how great he's been but then the headteacher and SEN at the school  come out with a different story saying how awful hes been. we really want to do something leaglly in regards to the school but just don't know where to start or what to do, can anyone please help us! this is not just effecting our son but also our marriage. He has been looked at by 5 differents schools 4 of which refused on paperwork alone, mainly as as the SEN at the school said lets tart it up abit that way we will get more funding to help, all this has done is hinder our son further. The one school who said they may be able to help are miles away and after visiting the school we just don't see our son there. we just don't know what to do any more x 

  • Thanks so much for ur advice 2006hildy Iv been so lost trying to figure out what to do. I'm going to google help program 1 and see if it available near me . It so nice to be able to get advice from other parent who may have had similar challenges .

  • Reply to Troscapole:

    Most parents start off with the Earlybird course aimed at children aged 4-6 but there are always exceptions. This will be usefull background information to Google or to look on NAS website. I have done the Earlybird course and it was brilliant. My little chap is 5 and very little trouble at all now. We have the odd thing we have to iron out now and then.

    The progression is then: HELP 1 programme, also Google or to look on NAS website. I will go on this as soon as my boy is old enough or we can get most benefit from it.

    Again ahh poor boy, showing stress behaviour. You have to find out what makes him tick with help.

    Hope the above helps.

    H 

  • Hi I'm new to all this my son was diagnosed with Aspergers, he is 12 and since then Iv been left on my own. I don't really know how to deal with his behaviour as he has started to swear alot and can have long tantrum that at times seem to be about nothing. The tantrums are easy to deal with when it's thing like colour of food or eating alone but he get so upset and screams that most of the time I'm clueless . He struggles at school and has no friend and I feel bad for him but he is extremely rude and short with other children I have three other and he has no patients for them. As a consequence the children at school have no time for him and tease him to get a reaction. I just wondering if there are any therapy that would help him with his behaviour and how he responses nicely to other people. He is extremely distant from me no mater how hard I try and worry that he dosnt know that I love him .

  • Thank you for all the advice that has been given so far, I have been in contact with The NAS this morning and they were great, I have someone calling me back with in the next few days that has more information inregards to education. They have also adviced that going to Ofted is proberly our next move. The problem that we have with schools, is my son is high functioning, he needs help in mainstream but is too mainstream for a special needs school, we looked at a private school not that long ago and the headteacher said he was 'too normal' to get a place if you know what I mean. We are in surrey, the local authority are now saying they have to go much further a field as according to them aawe are be difficult! we have turned down one school, we have suggested 5 which he has all been turned down for. I have requested all copies of his paper work of which 8 months worth of paper work has suddenly gone missing from the local authority! and the school are dragging their heels in giving us their copies and a copy of his school record they said they required permission to give that too us, which we know to be un-true! I am going to contact our local MP to see if they can be of any help, and I will kick up as much of a stink as I possible can! I just feel for my son so much, its really effecting him they have made him out to be different to other children which he is now being bullied at times for, he's never once been invited to a birhday part, yet when we threw him one every parent dumped their child on us! 

  • When I received my sons statement, it came with a national list of all schools that specialised in autism. If you let me know what area you're from, I could dig out the list and let you know what schools are on offer. There maybe some on the list that you didn't know of and might be worth looking into.

  • This is going to take ages to sort and you need to have a lot of will power.

    Get in touch with the Education Advocacy on this website. It will take ten days for them to get back in touch with you - but it is worth the wait.

    Education Rights Service
    The National Autistic Society's Education Rights Service (formally the Advocacy for Education Service) provides advice to parents in England, Wales, Northern Ireland and Scotland.

    Tel: 0808 800 4102
    Email: advocacy@nas.org.uk

    Go and tell the headteacher that you're not happy with their behaviour and you ARE going to report them to the local LEA and Ofsted. (DO REPORT THEM)! They cannot exclude your child. The disability discrimination act exists for a reason.

    Make an appointment with your local MP and get them involved. Once the SEN and the school realise you aren't a soft touch and are prepared to fight for your sons educational rights, things should hopefully look up for you.

    I know this sounds a little far fetched but get in touch with This Morning and see if they're are interested in your story. Make sure everyone involved knows you won't go down quietly. There are so many shockingly bad schools and it sounds like you have come across one of them.

    Search Outreach on this website and get in touch with the team in your area or area closest to you as they are part of ASCOSS and Ascoss help support autistic children within the school setting.

    It's completely disgusting that even SEN are against you. They're supposed to be supporting your son.

    You said that your son is at a mainstream school, but have you thought if maybe an autism specialised school may benefit your son better then the school he's at now!?

  • 1. You can get legal advice through this website, you just need to make contact and they will phone you back.

    2. If school trips are voluntary there is nothing you can do apart from provide a carer we have found this with after school clubs.

    3. If the school is miles away you can get transport.

    It sounds like you need to try and access the help that is out there. I have only done so by stumbling across it, nobody gives it to you on a plate. Some professionals will signpost you in the right direction.

    Marriage - nobody said it was easy especially with a Special Needs kid. You will find if you get through the hard times it will only make you stronger.

    Good luck with it all

    H