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Struggling to accept.

Witsend01

hi I have a 13 year old girl who recently has been diagnosed on the ASD. I'm really exhausted. She is refusing to accept help and understanding the diagnosis which is making my family life very difficult. She has no care for anyone and everything she does she blames yes blames the autism. She will have no communication with me or anyone and has a lot of frustration. I have tried explaining to her that I would like to help her understand but she just puts the barriers up. We have had a lot of arguments and fights and I feel that my child needs some intense therapy into trying to understand how her problems affect her daily life and be shown ways to cope. i have cried screamed and shouted at children services as they think we need just family therapy but the family is so broken I know it won't help. My child walks all over me now as I am too scared  tell her off as she can get violent. this is not how I want to live life. I don't know what to do anymore and how to deal with it. My daughter has been in trouble with the police for aggressive behaviour and still people can't help me. She has even said I have attacked her to the police and taken to the police station where they have cleared me. Any one have any advice on what I can do.x

  • Thank you for your wonderful reply. I do sit in silence and I do cry sometimes so much. Yes she is confused and upset I believe but she just will not confide in anyone. She has spiralled out of control  and I know she is doing things she shouldn't be doing. I can't punish her as she will get violent. She knows this for sure and that's why she has the upper hand. The thing is I have even tried medication for hormones which she refuses to take. She is also a self harmer and I just cannot argue with her as I don't know what the consequences will be. My family have tried helping and they have now given up as they feel that they thought they was helping her and then they feel like she has thrown it back In there face. So at the moment I am alone. I have been judged but child services have recommended classes of parents with Children with autism but I do know that the group usually has young children and not so much teens. I will research more into parents that have had recent diagnosis with teens as this I feel will help more.x

  • hey,

    Being like your daughter in some ways - struggling to come to terms with my austism and fighting continuously with my mum- I can maybe help you to undertand how she is feeling, and your post has helped mw to understand how my mum must feel.

    When my mum or dad trys to talk to me, I myself get very defensive and angry and feel they are accusing me all the time. Your daughter is obviously confused and upset which is understandable, but maybe get someone outside your family- like a gran or someone she trusts but doesnt like 24/7 with. My gran wrote me letters explaining how my mum must feel and although it took me time, I did start to think about how it affected her. I get violent occassionally and what my mum does it either just sit and be silent with me, or leaves me to calm down. She bought me a laptop so I could start a blog to write down my feelings which has also helped.

    What my mum also does, is she goes to therapy/councelling lessons on how to cope when I have a meltdown and sge says this has helped her. Maybe you would consider this, it may give you some info on what to do.

    Sending my best wishes to you and your daughter, and try to understand that a bit of it might be to do with hormones and sometimes its best to leave her alone to calm down x