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Mixing my daughter with my friends kids?

squidgy

My 4.5 yr daughter has epilepsy and ASD (actual/detailed diagnosis in couple of weeks) and is roughly two years behind her peers. She doesn't have friends at school because she is still at the stage where she plays alongside rather than with the other kids.

My local mummy friends are always getting together with thier kids etc and since her epilepsy diagnosis I have been left out of invites, either to stuff with or without the kids. Add to it the ASD symptoms and she is obviously hard work to mix with other kids.

I am really down about it all at the moment and have got to the stage where I just can't listen or see my other mummy friends I made when H was born because all their kids are doing 'so great' at school and they keep on about it either to my face or on say facebook. Does my head in and I am now feel I don't actually want to mix H with them anymore cos the kids are just horrible to her, and it breaks my heart to watch, plus I just have nothing in common with the parents anymore.

Am I doing her an injustice by keeping her away from them or should I be thicker skinned and put her into these normal situations?

Parents

  • I think you have said many true things there Wendyocd.  I think as long as the child is happy it does not matter what activity they are doing and they don't necessarily see it as missing out I am sure.  We are often not invited to "events" because of our 3 yr old, but as you said Wendyocd as it does save on excuses and it would only be stressful for him. 

    As for other people, I collect his older brother from afterschool club when all the other parents have gone to avoid parents and their staring/gossiping.  I am used to their reaction now but still get upset inside sometimes.  The friends I see most (and that is not often) are the understanding ones and the ones who support me and my son, and accept us.  I also remind myself that all is not rosy for other people.  They only post the good stuff, which is what these sites are for. They probably have a mountain of worries and grief like everyone else, but would never share it on a site.  I have to work hard to be happy for them, because it is not their fault that we have our difficult situation.  

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  • I think you have said many true things there Wendyocd.  I think as long as the child is happy it does not matter what activity they are doing and they don't necessarily see it as missing out I am sure.  We are often not invited to "events" because of our 3 yr old, but as you said Wendyocd as it does save on excuses and it would only be stressful for him. 

    As for other people, I collect his older brother from afterschool club when all the other parents have gone to avoid parents and their staring/gossiping.  I am used to their reaction now but still get upset inside sometimes.  The friends I see most (and that is not often) are the understanding ones and the ones who support me and my son, and accept us.  I also remind myself that all is not rosy for other people.  They only post the good stuff, which is what these sites are for. They probably have a mountain of worries and grief like everyone else, but would never share it on a site.  I have to work hard to be happy for them, because it is not their fault that we have our difficult situation.  

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