Hi
I am 18 years old and have recently started my first year of university. Ever since I was small I have had a complex motor tic related to feelings of excitement/anxiety/anger involving jumping up and down/leaping up from seated - running about - then jumping back down etc. I have not been offically diagnosed with ASD - I started the process but droped out before the final assessment since I didn't believe a label was necessary (I have little to no social problems and am very empathetic - my autistic symptoms have never bothered or hindered me) I now am regretting this. I think part of the problem may also be what I believe is called 'stimming' (?) I have a compulsion to listen to music (earphones - so that isn't bothering anyone else) and to jump up and down and flap my arms, again this is something I have always done and it doesn't harm me or anyone else so why stop? I grew up with esentially the same people from 5 - my current age and I was teased for my tics but it was in good humour and in a largely affectionate way - moreover, my peers were 'used to me' it was more of a 'haha there she goes again' reaction than anything else - which is perfect, understanding and nonchalent. I was pretty popular too and everyone liked me but I am suddenly made to feel weird and irritating for something I can't really help. It is crushing my self esteem and I get messages from them all the time like 'stop jumping' obviously when I'm doing it at night in my room they can probably all feel it and I can see why its annoying when people are trying to sleep but it just makes me feel terribly sad and isolated, of course the anxiety this brings only makes the tics worse. I don't know what to do. I live in a bungalow when at home with only my mum and she has never complained about it keeping her up although it has been disruptive at home (I have bashed in a section of the hallway because when I do my jumping it is often paired with jumping up to a wall and smacking it) I was never ever made to feel like it was actully causing any inconvenience and I feel like now I'll never be able to live with anyone etc. I have tried to explain my possible aspergers and the tics to them before. Does anyone know if there's anything else I can do? Sorry for length
Thanks