• Replies 4 replies
  • Subscribers 65 subscribers
  • Views 1243 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Recently started university, tics causing problems with flatmates HELP

Manatee

Hi

I am 18 years old and have recently started my first year of university. Ever since I was small I have had a complex motor tic related to feelings of excitement/anxiety/anger involving jumping up and down/leaping up from seated - running about - then jumping back down etc. I have not been offically diagnosed with ASD - I started the process but droped out before the final assessment since I didn't believe a label was necessary (I have little to no social problems and am very empathetic - my autistic symptoms have never bothered or hindered me) I now am regretting this. I think part of the problem may also be what I believe is called 'stimming' (?) I have a compulsion to listen to music (earphones - so that isn't bothering anyone else) and to jump up and down and flap my arms, again this is something I have always done and it doesn't harm me or anyone else so why stop? I grew up with esentially the same people from 5 - my current age and I was teased for my tics but it was in good humour and in a largely affectionate way - moreover, my peers were 'used to me' it was more of a 'haha there she goes again' reaction than anything else - which is perfect, understanding and nonchalent. I was pretty popular too and everyone liked me but I am suddenly made to feel weird and irritating for something I can't really help. It is crushing my self esteem and I get messages from them all the time like 'stop jumping' obviously when I'm doing it at night in my room they can probably all feel it and I can see why its annoying when people are trying to sleep but it just makes me feel terribly sad and isolated, of course the anxiety this brings only makes the tics worse. I don't know what to do. I live in a bungalow when at home with only my mum and she has never complained about it keeping her up although it has been disruptive at home (I have bashed in a section of the hallway because when I do my jumping it is often paired with jumping up to a wall and smacking it) I was never ever made to feel like it was actully causing any inconvenience and I feel like now I'll never be able to live with anyone etc. I have tried to explain my possible aspergers and the tics to them before. Does anyone know if there's anything else I can do? Sorry for length 

Thanks 

  • Hi Meerkatz.

    Hi Manatee,

    Your thinking that deep breathing all round is a good thing, this is very much the case, as breathing and feeling through the lesser emotional ups and downs of life's goings on - helps to develop the ability to modulate the more personally and socially challenging ones.

    Try also practicing with listening to 7 music tracks that start with one being of a less stimulating intensity, then work your way up, and when you start feeling particularly stimulated - work your way back down again.

    You could also try listening to Binaural Beats - as involves slighty different frequencies being played in each ear via headphones (marked left and right), as can allow the mind to enter into desireably balanced states - for work, rest and play. Many wriiten works for qualification's and report's sake have been done this way. 

    If you have further questions, you are welcome.

    D.

  • Hi, I hope your making some progress with this. I had similar problems when starting university. If your environment is uncomfortable for you, in this case new living accomadation will be hard to settle into, try findings ways to feel more comfortable. Most importantly don't let yourself get held back with your studies. As hard as it can be in these situations the best thing for you is to focus on yourself more than others. There are always plenty of clubs or societies to get involved in and some student unions have groups for disabled students or even just for autistic students. This may help you get the support you need. I hope this helps

  • Hi,

    Thank you for the understanding. So you mainly suggest to try to chnage the movement - this sounds likea good idea that would probably be less disruptive, I hope I can focus my mind to it though! I think the breathing will be good all round. I don't like to go out as much as the others but I am always polite and friendly, I make an effort to eat with them etc but I sometimes feel I should just go out anyway since drinking culture is such a big thing and I feel it leaves me slightly ostracized. I've brought the issue up with student support but they haven't done anything (yet).

    Thanks Again!

  • Hi,

        My family and most people were really anoyed about my excited behaviourisms, so I ended up having to suppress this, which led to me getting hypertension trying not to flap my arms, not running and jumping up and down and around and about etc.

    Once I was diagnosed, nearly two years ago, I decided to deprogram my oppressed behaviour sets and allow my Autistic ones to resurface, and do their thing. Obviously, after years of suppression, my natural behaviours were not so powerful - more in fact week, awkward, and timid. None the less though, I found that keeping my feet more less where they were and dancing on the spot was just perfect. I shimmy and wiggle so to speak - from top to bottom and gyrating in which ever direction goes. If this sounds appealing, it will be worth perhaps slowing down the directional urges and putting a bit of creative movement in as well - bit by bit in staged progressions.

    With the slowing down thing, try taking or learnig to take a deep pelvic breath before you get going - imagining in a sense that your bladder and uterous are your lungs - inhaling for the count of three, holding for the count of three, and exhaling naturally. Pelvic breathing is worth learning to do habitually, in that it reduces stress and leaves you feeling generally calmer, and is exactly how we are meant to be breathing anyway - whether we are autistic or not.

    With the living in a new place with strangers thing, show you are making an effort, and most people tend to be more accomadating. I mean people have their own living habits and have to make adjustments at first themselves too. If it gets really difficult and all that, go and have a chat with the Student Union types - or in fact have a chat with one of them anyway, perhaps?

    Sincerely thus,

    D.