• Replies 4 replies
  • Subscribers 65 subscribers
  • Views 1199 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Overeacting parent, or bad pupil management?

Nickyboynoo

Hi everyone,

I need a bit of advise.

   My autistic son is 7 years old and currently in year 3 and on a day to day basis he seems to be coping well to school life, as well as we can expect anyway.

He goes into another class in the afternoons for apparent nuture group experience. ( thats a whole other issue).

Anyhow, over the last few weeks we have come to find out my son has not been sent home with some very important year 3 class letters. Namely a parent workshop, that i missed, a parent evening reply letter which again i now have missed and as of this week a school trip that is happening is happening early next week, only finding out because of a newsletter we received!

This bothers me, i have had gut feelings for a while that things were becoming lax regarding a few issues with him at school. Him being allowed to get out of school alone, someone not being there to meet him in morning. Also no reading record checked or homework given for at least 6 weeks. So this just added to my concerns.

To me it feels like he is being managed less efficiently as before, the letter thing in my head almost confirms things.

I rang the office and explained the issues with the letters . I was told it was probably because he isnt in his class in afternoons or because he was ill. It made me feel like a overeacting parent.

Am I?

yes these are just letters but it feels like a symtpom of a bigger issue.

Your thoughts and advise would be very welcome before I speak to the senco monday morning.

Thank you for reading, and hope you have a great day.

  • hi, thanks for your reply.

    What you have said has rung a huge bell in my head. We also looked into home schooling several times since he started school.

    Before he started school we had taught him to read at a much more advanced level to what he was expected to be at his age. Mathematics was the same. He has always seemed to be more open to learning at home than at school for obvious reasons.

    The thing is we saw the social aspect of school a huge plus so decided it was for the best and it did help him in many ways. As time has gone by we believe he has become less and less compatible with hectic school day. So as you can understand, these thoughts have crept back in our minds.

     

    Thank you again for your reply.

  • hi,  thank you for the reply and sorry for the late response.

    He definitely isn't getting the letters at all. His teacher couldn't really explain why he didn't get them so i guess it was a fact that she forgot.

    There has since been additional 'symptoms' of bad pupil management regarding him not having his 1 to 1 meet him at the door in the mornings for the last week or so, with at one point me hearing a member of staff shouting "whos got tyler this morning?" (my son).

    If thats not bad management I don't know what is.

    I am trying to juggle proper support for my son and good school/parent  relationship. Which i must confess is becoming strained.

  • I've always home educated my 10 year old. Although many home educators we meet have children with autism, my child doesn't have autism. Surprisingly home educating has resulted in contact with many primary school teachers. Who home educate their own children & often run community groups. Most of the teachers openly admit they'd never send their child to any school. As they claim the standards in schools are inadequate at best. Most average schools are negligent & the worst are dangerous. I've no doubt it depends on the teacher, but as most are apparently already overworked, even the best can do little.

  • Sounds like a poor excuse from the school secretary office. They could be genuinely made on behalf of the person who said them but very poor. If the child is out of classroom at the time the letters are being handed out then a good teacher would keep that letter for when the child returns to the classroom. Especiaily when the child is known to be out of the classroom at those times.

    I don't think you are an over reacting parent. I think you genuinely want to find out what is really happening here.  Whether it genuinely poor practice on the part of his teachers or is there something else happening? Are you brave enough to face the question head on. Speak the fear you have what may be happening.

    It very easy to monitor whether the situation is improving becasue the be various letters (communication) at this time of term.  But I think you should seek an honest response from SENCO because you can then work with honesty.  If school is deliberly avoiding having him in their care on trips then they need to be clear rather than avoiding the issue. 

    It could be he does get the letters and he himself throws them away or doesn't put them in his bag so you never get them? Which case another system is required to help include him into activies.

    I really hope you get some answers of SENCO in the morning X