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Social needs versus education , what do i choose?

bethsmum

Hi. I have a child in yr 6 with aspergers, adhd. She is working just below the level required of her class and has a statement. My problem is the school and ed psychologist wants her to go to a mainstream school as they say she is "bright". (she will still have 1-1 support - to begin with!!) However we do not think she will cope socially at this school. She is currently in a small village school and has never had a friend - prefers adult company. We tried her at a youth club to help social skills but after 2 yrs she does not even know the names of the other kids there. If someone talks to her she does not answer or comes accross as rude because she does not know how to respond. Socially she is very immature and easily lead. What do I do? give her the chance to sit gcse's or give her the chance to leave school being able to communicate and understand people? We are running out of time and do not know what to do for the best. Sorry for rambling but really need help. What would you do?

Parents

  • Hello, I don't know the answer to your question... I don't think there are any guarantees and I don't know your daughter so I can't say what is right for her. What I would say is that you could try asking her... she might have an opinion on what she would like to do. You also don't have to fix in one decision while it may have some challenges you could try sending her to one or other option and then see how she gets on and if she or you feel that things are not working for her then you could try something new. Your daughter can learn all through her life it sounds like you have an idea of what might work for her now... I say trust yourself and listen to her.

    I hope this helps. It is a hard thing and too be honest I imagine with either choice there will be many challenges... grewing up is hard and being a parent is hard. I think confidence and being believed are really important gifts for a child - you can offer her those with hard work and openess to being changed by her as she goes through her journey on life, with you.

    Also I wouldn't be too sure that just because she doesn't want to communicate or understand people now that that means she is incapable of doing so, she might not be ready yet. I would trust your judgement and learn as you go cause you are the one who will have to live with your choice not the ed. psychologist, - it might be that trusting your judgement is trusting them ... if you see what i mean!

    I wish you well and I wish your daughter well she sounds great!

Reply

  • Hello, I don't know the answer to your question... I don't think there are any guarantees and I don't know your daughter so I can't say what is right for her. What I would say is that you could try asking her... she might have an opinion on what she would like to do. You also don't have to fix in one decision while it may have some challenges you could try sending her to one or other option and then see how she gets on and if she or you feel that things are not working for her then you could try something new. Your daughter can learn all through her life it sounds like you have an idea of what might work for her now... I say trust yourself and listen to her.

    I hope this helps. It is a hard thing and too be honest I imagine with either choice there will be many challenges... grewing up is hard and being a parent is hard. I think confidence and being believed are really important gifts for a child - you can offer her those with hard work and openess to being changed by her as she goes through her journey on life, with you.

    Also I wouldn't be too sure that just because she doesn't want to communicate or understand people now that that means she is incapable of doing so, she might not be ready yet. I would trust your judgement and learn as you go cause you are the one who will have to live with your choice not the ed. psychologist, - it might be that trusting your judgement is trusting them ... if you see what i mean!

    I wish you well and I wish your daughter well she sounds great!

Children
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