Sister has Aspergers at 22

Just be there for her and be supportive of her future. If she says she has something handled, trust her even if you know she is going to fall on her face. Just like everyone else we have to fall and learn how to dust off and make better decisions. Many aspies are highly intelligent, so don't talk down to her or treat her like a child. My husband for instance is an aspie and finished his masters degree at 20, my son is on the same track at 16. Aspies in defense mode need to know their environment is safe, non judgemental and comfortable for them before they'll ever come out, so just try to relate to her in her interests. I like to crochet. It gives me space between people and myself. It also gives me alone time wherever I am.

Hi thanks for the reply. Funnily enough my sister is studying accountancy so sounds like that could be a good career choice for her. So you're saying we should just leave her to it and be there if she needs us? You sound like you have a very happy life which I hope my sister can have 1 day too. 

Thanks again 

Steve 

p.s I will look into defense mode thanks 

Hi, I was recognized by a colleague of my husbands (neurology field) as an aspie at 39 years old. I can tell you that she probably doesn't realize what others percieve her as. There are a lot of things that are a lot harder for her in the social catagory than 'regular' people. For instance I was 30 years old when I realized my coworkers needed niceties to feel comfortable with me. I still forget sometimes. I had no understanding as to why I was clearly different than societal standards for so very long. She probably doesn't want to talk to you or your mom about it because she knows you don't understand. She will appreciate and trust someone whom she knows has been through the same. Would you talk to another woman about your cycle if she's never had one? Same thing. I don't have a necessity for social interaction like other people that's why I chose a career as an accountant. I don't have to talk or interact with people also I live in the country, again solitude. I am married and have had 6 children, 2 of them are still at home. So you see, when she is ready, she can choose her life and be successful. You may want to read about defense mode. 

Thanks for replying. 

She lives with my mum so she doesn't really see anyone else but her. I guess we just need to accept that she is never going to live a "normal" life of someone in their twenties.  Hopefully I get to hear from someone similar to her and what they have achieved etc. It's just so hard as she is almost emotionless so you never know what's going on. We just want her to have a conversation with us. 

I also worry about what my son might think when he gets a bit older. As a lot of people take her behaviour as rudeness. He is 18 months at the moment.

I think me & my mum are supposed to be attending her support group in the future. Im hoping that will answer a lot of our questions. 

Thanks

Hi Steve 21

Your Sister may be able to have a fulfilling life.  Try to support  her by accepting her as she is. 

At 22 she has time to find out what she is capable of.  I hope at her group she is getting to know herself.  The group may help her engage with you ?

There are lots of Aspies who work, have a family & genuine friendships, though all those things can be more of a struggle.

Then there are some that prefer their own company. What you call isolation may not be a problem for your Sister.  If she is in the family home with you she may be happy knowing your present but doesn't feel the need to engage.  

There are some interesting blogs written by Women who were diagnosed later in life.

Have a look online.  Aspergers can make life challenging.  But if you have consistant support from those who love you it can still be possible to achieve things.

I hope someone in her situation but further along the same journey replies to your post.

Its fortunate she had a diagnosis now.  This  can help her avoid some of the concerns you raised.

Take Care